Unele relatii sunt facute sa dureze, altele insa nu. Se termina prematur, mai devreme decat te asteptai, mai devreme decat pariasei cu tine insuti.
Nu m-am gandit niciodata la relatia noastra ca la una de scurta durata, eram pregatita pentru mai mult. Nu mi-au placut niciodata relatiile pasagere, pe care le ai doar ca sa nu fii singur, doar ca sa ai pe cineva cu care sa iesi in oras sau cu care ocazional sa faci sex, asa... fara obligatii. Eram sigura ca pot merge mai departe, atat timp cat ma simt iubita, cat timp ma simt libera sa fiu eu, cat timp nu ma simt conditionata. Insa exact asta s-a intamplat, intr-o zi m-am trezit singura, parasita si m-am simtit incatusata in loc sa fiu eliberata, am fost ranita, trista si suparata, am fost aceiasi "eu" de care fugisem cu o luna jumatate inainte. Ma saturasem sa fiu "eu, cea deprimata" si aveam nevoie sa fiu "eu, cea fericita".
Dar cum poti fi fericita atunci cand omul in care ti-ai pus toate sperantele iti spune ca vrea sa se desparta de tine si o si face? Stablilise cu o saptamana inainte ca in data de ... ne vom desparti. Si in ciuda insistentelor mele si a refuzului exprimat clar rezolutia a ramas aceiasi: "de maine ne despartim". Si am spus nu inca o data, iar el a zis da pentru ca asa stabilisem si pentru ca asa era mai bine: fara apeluri, fara mesaje, fara mailuri. Si am acceptat, nu aveam incotro.
A venit maine, mailurile au incetat in a mai fi scrise, sms-urile nu au mai curs, telefonul a incetat sa mai sune. Era semn ca totul a luat sfarsit. Mi-a fost greu sa realizez ca relatia noastra se terminase, undeva spre pranz ma obseda gandul de a-ti scrie orice, un mail, un sms in care sa te intreb: "ce faci? ai innebunit? chiar ne despartim? chiar esti mai fericit fara mine?". Dar m-am abtinut pentru ca eram ranita, pentru ca m-am gandit ca cel mai bun lucru pentru mine este sa accept ca nu ma mai vrei, ca iti cauti un alt drum in viata fara mine, ca iti astepti DESTINUL din care stii sigur ca eu nu fac parte.
A venit seara si m-ai sunat sa ma intrebi de ce nu te-am cautat toata ziua. Ce sens avea sa te caut cand tu esti cel care ti-ai impus vointa si ai incheiat reatia noastra desi eu nu vroiam sa se incheie? Pentru ce sa te caut? Ca sa sufar din nou? Mi-ai reprosat ca am renuntat prea repede la "noi", ca nu ti-am dat acel sms cand m-am gandit sa-ti scriu, ca nu am plans dupa tine si ca sunt egoista. Da, sunt egoista si am fost de la inceput si totdeauna m-am pus pe mine pe primul plan. Nu m-ai invatat tu asta? Nu m-ai invatat tu cat de important este sa-mi dau seama ce-mi doresc si cine sunt si sa fac doar ce vreau eu, nu ce vor ceilalti? Tu deja stiai asta si m-ai iubit oricum, de ce trebuia sa-mi reprosezi? Tu stiai cat de mare era nevoia mea de a fi dorita si iubita, de a primi fara sa dau nimic in schimb, atunci de ce ai ales sa ma parasesti? Doar ca sa ma ranesti, sa ma testezi si sa descoperi care vor fi reactiile mele? Ai vazut cum am reactionat: da, sunt ranita si imi e frica si nu-ti mai pot spune acum ca inainte "te sarut, te iubesc, pe curand". Oare esti mai fericit acum?
Eu nu sunt mai fericita si recunosc ca imi lipsesti, ca imi e dor de noi, ca am plans gandindu-ma la noi si la acele 4 zile fericite cu tine la mare. Insa stiu ca dupa aceasta experienta nu as mai putea sa ma intorc la tine. Si ce regret cel mai mult si mai mult este ca o data cu iubitul mi-am pierdut si cel mai bun prieten.
Sper ca vei fi fericit si ca iti vei gasi calea. Ma voi ruga pentru asta. Adio.
Se afișează postările cu eticheta viata. Afișați toate postările
Se afișează postările cu eticheta viata. Afișați toate postările
miercuri, 10 august 2011
miercuri, 8 decembrie 2010
Inca o saptamana... / One more week...
... si se termina perioada de training la Vodafone. Ce dor imi e sa muncesc!
... and the training period it's over. I miss working!
... and the training period it's over. I miss working!
vineri, 5 noiembrie 2010
Maria Cristina
...it's my name and today I'm 5 months old. Happy birthday to me!
...este numele meu si astazi am implinit 5 luni. La multi ani mie!
Pictures from the baptism.
Poze de la botez.
...este numele meu si astazi am implinit 5 luni. La multi ani mie!
Pictures from the baptism.
Poze de la botez.
marți, 26 octombrie 2010
Grecia: o poveste cu final fericit / Greece: a happy ending story
Am plecat de la hotelul acela din varful muntelui spre un loc mai bun: Insula Naxos. Am lucrat la un hotel de trei stele, pentru o familie minunata, care mi-a fost alaturi in toate momentele bune sau rele. Aici m-am simtit respectata, apreciata, aici am intalnit romani cu care m-am imprietenit, aici nu mi-a lipsit nimic si m-am bucurat de soare si mare.
***
I left that hotel from the top of the mountain and I went to a better place: Naxos Island. I worked at a three star hotel, for a wonderful family, who stayed by my side in all my good or bad moments. They respected and appreciated me here, I met Romanians that became my friends, I had everything I needed here and I enjoyed the sun and the sea.
Iata unde am fost prima data. / At first I was here.
Si iata unde am ajuns. / And after I arrived here.
***
I left that hotel from the top of the mountain and I went to a better place: Naxos Island. I worked at a three star hotel, for a wonderful family, who stayed by my side in all my good or bad moments. They respected and appreciated me here, I met Romanians that became my friends, I had everything I needed here and I enjoyed the sun and the sea.
Iata unde am fost prima data. / At first I was here.
Si iata unde am ajuns. / And after I arrived here.
sâmbătă, 1 mai 2010
Grecia: o experienta de neuitat / Greece: unforgettable experience
Poate ca unii dintre voi au citit titlul si cred ca voi povesti aici despre cat de frumoasa este aceasta tara. Va inselati. Nu voi face asta pentru ca nu stiu cat de frumoasa este. Nu am cum sa o vad, nu am cum sa o vizitez, deci nu va pot povesti nimic despre ea. In schimb va pot povesti despre oamenii care o locuiesc.
Grecii care imi sunt colegi sunt needucati, barfitori, trisori, inculti si lipsiti de igiena. In orice limba l-as saluta, managerul nu raspunde niciodata. A dormit in hotel cateva nopti la rand si i-am facut curat in camera in fiecare zi. Am gasit la baie fire de par lungi si negre. Pe sotia lui am cunoscut-o pentru ca are un magazin cu jucarii la subsolul hotelului. Ea e satena si are par scurt. Concluzia o trageti voi. Barmanul isi inseala sotia, si ea ospatarita aici, cu una din maseuze. O alta maseuza care acum nu mai lucreaza aici a fost amanta fostului manager. Ingrijitorul hotelului, de origine albaneza care ne-a informat ca ne poate procura la orice ora armament, isi inseala sotia cu o grecoaica camerista aici. S-au dat de gol amandoi dupa ce colega mea Dana a facut o gluma cu el. Cand plecau ei doi la o cafea ii spune: Ai grija cu ea ca e casatorita si are si un bebe acasa! Amandoi s-au inrosit si balbaindu-se au inceput sa dea explicatii ca ei sunt doar prieteni si ca nu au nimic de a face unu cu altu, doar isi iau pauza de cafea impreuna si vorbesc. Prea tarziu!
Sefa mea cu fiecare dintre cameristele din Grecia le barfeste pe celalalte. Asa au ajuns ele sa se dea de gol una pe cealalta, dar cand se intalnesc se prefac ca sunt prietene. De Paste sefa a dat comanda de oua de ciocolata. Era o cutie cu peste suta de oua. Ar fi trebuit sa le lasam pe pat clientilor dupa ce faceam curat. In schimb ea a decis sa punem oua doar pentru cei care stateau in apartamente si dupa Paste ea si-a impartit cu o alta camerista cutia cu oua de ciocolata. Tot sefa mea vine dupa noi in camere in timp ce noi facem curat si cauta prin bagajele clientilor, se da cu parfumul lor. Dupa ce pleaca ei, ea e prima care intra in camera sa controleze si daca ramane ceva ea isi insuseste tot. Ne-a chemat managerul la el in birou intr-o vineri sa ne faca observatie ca s-a gasit in camera 234 o pereche de blugi, ceea ce pentru el insemna ca nu am facut curat cum trebuia, insa noi stim ca pantalonii nu erau acolo marti, cand noi am curatat camera. Posesoarea sunase dupa ei miercuri sau joi si a dat numarul camerei: un alt numar decat cel in care s-au gasit pantalonii. Asadar cineva i-a luat si a trebuit sa ii aduca inapoi, doar ca nu a mai stiut si camera de unde i-a luat asa ca i-a lasat la nimereala intr-o camera. Tot etajul 2 era curatat de noi, eu si Dana, iar in fata managerului cine a fost vinovat: „fetele din Romania”, bineinteles. Sefa verifica camerele pe care noi le curatam si se ia mereu de noi pentru orice detaliu. Ultima data nu i-a convenit ca n-am maturat verandele si nu am folosit cearceafurile de dimensiune medie care sa se potriveasca perfect cu patul. Dar pe celelalte nu le verifica sa vada ca nici macar nu dau cu aspiratorul in camera, la baie nu folosesc dezinfectant ci dau cu Ajax, nu sterg pe jos in baie si lasa gresia patata si fire de par peste tot, isi iau pauza de cafea de o jumatate de ora tinand cont ca stau la munca 8 ore din care o ora o reprezinta pauza pentru micul dejun si pranz. Cameristele grecoaice nu au maniere. Ele nu stiu ca la masa se folosec cutitul si furculita, ca fiecare se serveste de pe platou si mananca apoi doar din farfuria lui, ca daca e nevoie sa te scobesti in masele nu trebuie sa bagi mana in gura, mai ales de fata cu toata lumea la masa, ci s-a inventat pentru asta scobitoarea; ca nu se vorbeste cu mancarea in gura, ca nu se fumeaza in timp ce altul mananca, ca nu te holbezi in farfuria celuilat sau in gura lui in timp ce el mananca. Deasemenea, unele dintre ele umbla cu uniforma rupta sau murdara, miros a transpiratie, sunt negre sub unghii si au calcaiele crapate. Radea una dintre ele de noi doua ca nu stim sa facem un mop dintr-un prosop si un bat, dar cand am intrebat noi de Iliada si Odiseea nu stia despre „cine” vorbim.
Grecii, in general, sunt murdari. Colega mea Dana spune ca poti cunoaste un om uitandu-te la dantura lui si la pantofi. Acelasi lucru pot spune eu acum: poti cunoaste un om uitandu-te in locuinta lui. Ce sa cred eu despre grecii care nu folosesc dusul, isi fac nevoile pe capacul de la WC si nu sterg in urma lor, nu folosesc pasta de dinti sau o folosesc dar o lasa pe chiuveta sa se usuce, isi lasa parul pubian peste tot, mananca in baie, arunca pe jos si nu fac curat, ci stau asa... in mizerie; isi lasa lenjeria intima purtata la vedere? Si cand vezi toate astea te intrebi de ce mai cumpara toate produsele alea de firma pe care le cumpara: cosmetice si parfumuri doar de la Clarins, Estee Lauder, Yves Saint Laurent, D&G, Dior etc; haine si incaltaminte Adidas, Air, Nike, Puma; lentile de contact in loc de ochelari si numai masini scumpe vezi in parcare.
Iar tinerii... fumeaza de la 12 ani tutun, beau alcool in prostie, miros urat si nu se spala, fetele se machiaza la 14 ani cat o femeie la 40, isi incep viata sexuala devreme, se drogheaza si toate astea ii fac ca la 16 ani sa arate de 25, 30. Facand curat in camere in care au stat elevi am gasit prezervative folosite si nearuncate la gunoi, tigari de toate felurile, o narghilea sparta si tutun aromat pentru ea, branule si o doza de heroina. Copii... ce sa le faci? ... Astora le lipseste o bataie zdravana, sanatoasa, ca sa le mai vina mintea la cap.
***
....................
Grecii care imi sunt colegi sunt needucati, barfitori, trisori, inculti si lipsiti de igiena. In orice limba l-as saluta, managerul nu raspunde niciodata. A dormit in hotel cateva nopti la rand si i-am facut curat in camera in fiecare zi. Am gasit la baie fire de par lungi si negre. Pe sotia lui am cunoscut-o pentru ca are un magazin cu jucarii la subsolul hotelului. Ea e satena si are par scurt. Concluzia o trageti voi. Barmanul isi inseala sotia, si ea ospatarita aici, cu una din maseuze. O alta maseuza care acum nu mai lucreaza aici a fost amanta fostului manager. Ingrijitorul hotelului, de origine albaneza care ne-a informat ca ne poate procura la orice ora armament, isi inseala sotia cu o grecoaica camerista aici. S-au dat de gol amandoi dupa ce colega mea Dana a facut o gluma cu el. Cand plecau ei doi la o cafea ii spune: Ai grija cu ea ca e casatorita si are si un bebe acasa! Amandoi s-au inrosit si balbaindu-se au inceput sa dea explicatii ca ei sunt doar prieteni si ca nu au nimic de a face unu cu altu, doar isi iau pauza de cafea impreuna si vorbesc. Prea tarziu!
Sefa mea cu fiecare dintre cameristele din Grecia le barfeste pe celalalte. Asa au ajuns ele sa se dea de gol una pe cealalta, dar cand se intalnesc se prefac ca sunt prietene. De Paste sefa a dat comanda de oua de ciocolata. Era o cutie cu peste suta de oua. Ar fi trebuit sa le lasam pe pat clientilor dupa ce faceam curat. In schimb ea a decis sa punem oua doar pentru cei care stateau in apartamente si dupa Paste ea si-a impartit cu o alta camerista cutia cu oua de ciocolata. Tot sefa mea vine dupa noi in camere in timp ce noi facem curat si cauta prin bagajele clientilor, se da cu parfumul lor. Dupa ce pleaca ei, ea e prima care intra in camera sa controleze si daca ramane ceva ea isi insuseste tot. Ne-a chemat managerul la el in birou intr-o vineri sa ne faca observatie ca s-a gasit in camera 234 o pereche de blugi, ceea ce pentru el insemna ca nu am facut curat cum trebuia, insa noi stim ca pantalonii nu erau acolo marti, cand noi am curatat camera. Posesoarea sunase dupa ei miercuri sau joi si a dat numarul camerei: un alt numar decat cel in care s-au gasit pantalonii. Asadar cineva i-a luat si a trebuit sa ii aduca inapoi, doar ca nu a mai stiut si camera de unde i-a luat asa ca i-a lasat la nimereala intr-o camera. Tot etajul 2 era curatat de noi, eu si Dana, iar in fata managerului cine a fost vinovat: „fetele din Romania”, bineinteles. Sefa verifica camerele pe care noi le curatam si se ia mereu de noi pentru orice detaliu. Ultima data nu i-a convenit ca n-am maturat verandele si nu am folosit cearceafurile de dimensiune medie care sa se potriveasca perfect cu patul. Dar pe celelalte nu le verifica sa vada ca nici macar nu dau cu aspiratorul in camera, la baie nu folosesc dezinfectant ci dau cu Ajax, nu sterg pe jos in baie si lasa gresia patata si fire de par peste tot, isi iau pauza de cafea de o jumatate de ora tinand cont ca stau la munca 8 ore din care o ora o reprezinta pauza pentru micul dejun si pranz. Cameristele grecoaice nu au maniere. Ele nu stiu ca la masa se folosec cutitul si furculita, ca fiecare se serveste de pe platou si mananca apoi doar din farfuria lui, ca daca e nevoie sa te scobesti in masele nu trebuie sa bagi mana in gura, mai ales de fata cu toata lumea la masa, ci s-a inventat pentru asta scobitoarea; ca nu se vorbeste cu mancarea in gura, ca nu se fumeaza in timp ce altul mananca, ca nu te holbezi in farfuria celuilat sau in gura lui in timp ce el mananca. Deasemenea, unele dintre ele umbla cu uniforma rupta sau murdara, miros a transpiratie, sunt negre sub unghii si au calcaiele crapate. Radea una dintre ele de noi doua ca nu stim sa facem un mop dintr-un prosop si un bat, dar cand am intrebat noi de Iliada si Odiseea nu stia despre „cine” vorbim.
Grecii, in general, sunt murdari. Colega mea Dana spune ca poti cunoaste un om uitandu-te la dantura lui si la pantofi. Acelasi lucru pot spune eu acum: poti cunoaste un om uitandu-te in locuinta lui. Ce sa cred eu despre grecii care nu folosesc dusul, isi fac nevoile pe capacul de la WC si nu sterg in urma lor, nu folosesc pasta de dinti sau o folosesc dar o lasa pe chiuveta sa se usuce, isi lasa parul pubian peste tot, mananca in baie, arunca pe jos si nu fac curat, ci stau asa... in mizerie; isi lasa lenjeria intima purtata la vedere? Si cand vezi toate astea te intrebi de ce mai cumpara toate produsele alea de firma pe care le cumpara: cosmetice si parfumuri doar de la Clarins, Estee Lauder, Yves Saint Laurent, D&G, Dior etc; haine si incaltaminte Adidas, Air, Nike, Puma; lentile de contact in loc de ochelari si numai masini scumpe vezi in parcare.
Iar tinerii... fumeaza de la 12 ani tutun, beau alcool in prostie, miros urat si nu se spala, fetele se machiaza la 14 ani cat o femeie la 40, isi incep viata sexuala devreme, se drogheaza si toate astea ii fac ca la 16 ani sa arate de 25, 30. Facand curat in camere in care au stat elevi am gasit prezervative folosite si nearuncate la gunoi, tigari de toate felurile, o narghilea sparta si tutun aromat pentru ea, branule si o doza de heroina. Copii... ce sa le faci? ... Astora le lipseste o bataie zdravana, sanatoasa, ca sa le mai vina mintea la cap.
***
....................
joi, 11 martie 2010
Din Grecia cu dragoste / From Greece with love
Grecia: masline, portocale, turism.
Mie cam atat imi vine in minte atunci cand spun Grecia. Dar mai sunt si altele: uzo, feta etc. Pe restu’ urmeaza sa le descopar.
Am sa incep prin a va spune ca sunt bine, asta ca sa nu fiti ingrijorati. Am plecat din tara cam stresata si m-am ales cu o gastrita de toata frumusetea. Norocul meu e ca pot manca aici si de regim, adica la micul dejun o tin pe lapte, unt, cascaval si paine graham, iar in rest am avut paste cu cascaval, supa de linte, un fel de tocanita cu piept de pui, salata greceasca (seamana cu cea orientala), mancare de cartofi etc. O sa-mi fie dor de o supa à la mama mea, sau o ciorba acra (pe care inainte o ocoleam). Pe aici nu se fac ciorbe, supe ... uneori, iar angajatii nu au voie sa-si gateasca.
In hotel nu prea vin turisti in perioada asta, mai mult in weekend-uri cand mai fac unii reuniuni de afaceri, prezentari, conventii. Vara vin echipe de baschet si handbal in cantonament, se mai fac nunti, botezuri sau se mai gaseste cate unu’ plin de bani sa stea aici (acum e unul pe la etajul 1 si hotelul are peste 100 de camere). Salariul meu e de 650 de euro, dar apartamentele din hotel costa cam 1000 de euro pe noapte. Apartamentul de lux costa 1400 euro pe noapte (si in weekendul asta a fost ocupat), asa ca puteti face si voi comparatie: cat de bogati sunt unii si cat de saraci suntem noi. Ceea ce vedeti acum la televizor e adevarat: greve, foamete, totul foarte scump. Azi , spre exemplu, functionarii publici au fost in greva, iar noi 3 (suntem 3 romance aici, 2 cameriste si o maseuza) trebuia sa mergem la politie pentru acte. Ne-au amanat pe maine dimineata pentru ca nu se lucra.
Sa traiesti aici e foarte scump. Hainele si incaltamintea sunt foarte scumpe, mancarea e scumpa si nu cunosc ceva despre care sa se spuna ca ar fi ieftin. Spre exemplu:
- O pereche de pantofi piele – 50 euro
- O cutie de lapte proaspat de vaca 1 litru– 1,40 euro
- O sticla de dero lichid de 1,5 litri – 12 euro
- O copie xerox – 15 euro centi
- Un tuns, vopsit, suvite, (par mediu) – 90 euro
- Bilet autocar Salonic-Lamia (300 km)– 23,60 euro
- Bilet autocar Lamia- Karpenisi (70 km)– 6,40 euro
- Bilet autocar Karpenisi-Atena (300 km)- 22,30 euro
- Bilet autobuz in Salonic – 50 euro centi
Salariul minim brut in Grecia este de 1000 de euro, din care statul va opri 30% pentru ca atat reprezinta aici asigurarile de sanatate si sociale. Grecii care nu fac fata in tara emigreaza in America. In hotel lucreaza greci, romani (mai e un baiat roman la spalat vase), albanezi si bulgari. Ca si prin alte locuri, se fac diferente intre angajatii localnici si cei straini. Grecii de aici au salarii mai mari decat strainii desi lucreaza doar cate 7-8 ore pe zi si au 2 libere. Strainii lucreaza cate 10 ore pe zi cu o zi libera pe saptamana. Am totusi avantajul ca pauzele pentru micul dejun si pranz se incadreaza in programul de 10 ore, ceea ce inseamna ca lucrez efectiv doar 9 ore. Nici pe alea nu le-am lucrat pentru ca trebuia sa raman de una singura, fara o camerista veche langa mine care sa-mi arate si sa ma verifice. Cica sunt in periada de training acum. Norocul meu in acest moment e ca nu sunt camerele ocupate, deci nu ne omoram cu munca, inca. In contractul meu scrie ca sunt camerista, dar aici a fi camerista inseamna sa faci menajul hotelului, in zonele unde au acces clientii, de unde deduc eu ca sunt mai mult menajera, femeie de servici decat camerista (de la teoria invatata in facultate pana la practica din hotel e o cale foaaaarte lunga). Si, surpriza surprizelor, aici nu se vorbeste limba engleza, deci ne intelegem ca in turnul Babel. Norocul meu, inca o data, ca una din cameriste stie putina engleza pentru ca lucrat in state o perioada. Eu si cealalta camerista romanca ne-am lipit de ea si invatam meserie. Altfel nu stiu cum am fi putut sa invatam ceva. Cea care imi e sefa habar n-are engleza sau alta limba straina, numai managerul mai rupe cateva propozitii si cu una din fetele de la receptie, in rest... sunt bata cu totii. De aici trag concluzia ca eu vorbesc engleza mai bine decat toti. Asadar, ce caut eu aici? Glumesc. In hotelul asta nu vin turisti straini, cei care vin sunt cu totii greci, iar bacsis se face mai rar.
Mica noastra comunitate romaneasca se intalneste seara, dupa program la cafea si ne mai vedem la masa pentru ca mancam la aceiasi ora, ne mai intalnim si seara in una din camere ca sa mai stam de vorba, sa depanam amintiri, sa plangem dupa familie si lucrurile de care ne e dor. Imi lipseste tata cu care sa ma mai cert din cand in cand, dar care ma proteja intotdeauna, imi lipseste mama, prietena mea, cu care ma sfatuiam intotdeauna si care stia sa ma impinga de la spate, imi lipseste sormea cu care sa impart totul, mai ales patul, imi lipsesc Asi si conversatiile noastre pe net si la telefon, imi lipsesc colegii de munca si activitatea fata in fata cu clientii, vorbitul foarte mult.
Deci... e binisor pana acum, ma adaptez. Ce sa zic... o sa mai scriu. Pe curand.
...
Greece: olives, oranges, tourism.
This is all that comes in my mind when I say Greece. But there are other things too: uzo (traditional Greek alcoholic drink), feta cheese. And I will discover the rest of them.
I will start by telling you I am alright, because I don’t want you to be worried. I left the country being so stressed and I ended up getting the nicest gastritis ever. I’m lucky because here I can eat diet food, I mean in the mornings I’m having milk, butter, cheese and bread with seeds, and at the other meals I had chicken, soup, Greek salad, potatoes, pasta with cheese. But I will miss my mom’s soups and her sour ciorba (Romanian sour soup, similar to Russian bors). Here they don’t make ciorba, soups … sometimes, and the employees are not allowed to cook.
Tourists don’t come so often in this hotel in this season; they come mostly on the weekends for business meetings, presentations, conventions. In the summer basketball teams and handball teams come for training, they do weddings here; baptizing or sometimes it happens that very rich people come to stay (now we have only one man on the first floor and the hotel has over 100 rooms). My salary here is 650 euro, but the suites here are over 1000 euro per night. The luxury suite costs 1400 euro per night (and people stayed in it this weekend). So you can compare how rich are some of them and how poor are some of us. What you see now on TV is true: strikes, hunger, everything is expensive. Today, for example, government employees were on strike, and the three of us (we are 3 Romanian women here, 2 chambermaids and a masseuse) had to go to the police for paper work. They said to come back tomorrow because today no one is working.
It’s very expensive to live here. Clothes and shoes are very expensive, food is expensive and I don’t remember someone ever saying there are cheap things here. For example:
- Pair of leather shoes – 50 euro
- A bottle of fresh milk 1 liter – 1,40 euro
- A page copied – 15 euro cents
- A hair cut, painted too – 90 euro
- Bus ticket Salonic-Lamia (300 km) – 23,60 euro
- Bus ticket Lamia-Karpenisi (70 km) – 6,40 euro
- Bus ticket Karpenisi-Athens (300 km) – 22,30 euro
- Bus ticket in Salonic – 50 euro cents
The minimum brut wage in Greece is 1000 euro and 30% will be detained for health and social insurance. Greeks that don’t make it here immigrate in US. Here work Greeks, Romanians (we are 4, 3 girls and one boy), Albanians and Bulgarians. Similar to other places, there are differences between workers. Greeks work only 7-8 hours per day and have 2 days off while foreigners work 10 hours per day with only one day off. I have the advantage that breaks for breakfast and lunch are included in those 10 hours, which means I work only 9 hours. I haven’t worked all these hours until now because it means I would have to work by myself, without any old chambermaid that could verify me or show me how to do everything. It looks like I’m on training now. I’m lucky that now rooms are unoccupied so I’m not working like crazy, yet. In my contract says I’m a chambermaid, but here to be a chambermaid means you have to clean all the places that are accessible to the customer, so I guess I’m more a maid then a chambermaid (there is a very big difference between what I learned in school and what I have to do here). And, big surprise, here they don’t speak English so we understand each other like in the Babel tower. I’m lucky again that one of the chambermaids worked in the US and knows a little bit of English, so she is teaching us. I don’t know how else we could’ve learned anything. My boss knows no other language then Greek, only the manager and one of the receptionists are able to speak a bit. The rest of them none, no English. So I’m starting to ask myself: what am I doing here? And here come only Greek tourists, no foreigners, so the possibility for tipping is very little.
Our little Romanian community meets every evening for coffee and during the day when we eat. We eat at the same hour. We also meet in the evening in one of our rooms and talk, remember things, cry after our families and the things that we miss. I miss my dad and the fights we used to have, but he was always there to protect me; I miss my mom, my friend that always gave the best advices and pushed me; I miss my sis and the way we shared everything, especially the bed. I miss Asi and our conversations on the phone and internet; I miss my work colleagues and working face to face with my customers and talking very much.
So… it’s good until now, I’m trying to adapt. What else to say… I’m going to write again. See you soon.
Mie cam atat imi vine in minte atunci cand spun Grecia. Dar mai sunt si altele: uzo, feta etc. Pe restu’ urmeaza sa le descopar.
Am sa incep prin a va spune ca sunt bine, asta ca sa nu fiti ingrijorati. Am plecat din tara cam stresata si m-am ales cu o gastrita de toata frumusetea. Norocul meu e ca pot manca aici si de regim, adica la micul dejun o tin pe lapte, unt, cascaval si paine graham, iar in rest am avut paste cu cascaval, supa de linte, un fel de tocanita cu piept de pui, salata greceasca (seamana cu cea orientala), mancare de cartofi etc. O sa-mi fie dor de o supa à la mama mea, sau o ciorba acra (pe care inainte o ocoleam). Pe aici nu se fac ciorbe, supe ... uneori, iar angajatii nu au voie sa-si gateasca.
In hotel nu prea vin turisti in perioada asta, mai mult in weekend-uri cand mai fac unii reuniuni de afaceri, prezentari, conventii. Vara vin echipe de baschet si handbal in cantonament, se mai fac nunti, botezuri sau se mai gaseste cate unu’ plin de bani sa stea aici (acum e unul pe la etajul 1 si hotelul are peste 100 de camere). Salariul meu e de 650 de euro, dar apartamentele din hotel costa cam 1000 de euro pe noapte. Apartamentul de lux costa 1400 euro pe noapte (si in weekendul asta a fost ocupat), asa ca puteti face si voi comparatie: cat de bogati sunt unii si cat de saraci suntem noi. Ceea ce vedeti acum la televizor e adevarat: greve, foamete, totul foarte scump. Azi , spre exemplu, functionarii publici au fost in greva, iar noi 3 (suntem 3 romance aici, 2 cameriste si o maseuza) trebuia sa mergem la politie pentru acte. Ne-au amanat pe maine dimineata pentru ca nu se lucra.
Sa traiesti aici e foarte scump. Hainele si incaltamintea sunt foarte scumpe, mancarea e scumpa si nu cunosc ceva despre care sa se spuna ca ar fi ieftin. Spre exemplu:
- O pereche de pantofi piele – 50 euro
- O cutie de lapte proaspat de vaca 1 litru– 1,40 euro
- O sticla de dero lichid de 1,5 litri – 12 euro
- O copie xerox – 15 euro centi
- Un tuns, vopsit, suvite, (par mediu) – 90 euro
- Bilet autocar Salonic-Lamia (300 km)– 23,60 euro
- Bilet autocar Lamia- Karpenisi (70 km)– 6,40 euro
- Bilet autocar Karpenisi-Atena (300 km)- 22,30 euro
- Bilet autobuz in Salonic – 50 euro centi
Salariul minim brut in Grecia este de 1000 de euro, din care statul va opri 30% pentru ca atat reprezinta aici asigurarile de sanatate si sociale. Grecii care nu fac fata in tara emigreaza in America. In hotel lucreaza greci, romani (mai e un baiat roman la spalat vase), albanezi si bulgari. Ca si prin alte locuri, se fac diferente intre angajatii localnici si cei straini. Grecii de aici au salarii mai mari decat strainii desi lucreaza doar cate 7-8 ore pe zi si au 2 libere. Strainii lucreaza cate 10 ore pe zi cu o zi libera pe saptamana. Am totusi avantajul ca pauzele pentru micul dejun si pranz se incadreaza in programul de 10 ore, ceea ce inseamna ca lucrez efectiv doar 9 ore. Nici pe alea nu le-am lucrat pentru ca trebuia sa raman de una singura, fara o camerista veche langa mine care sa-mi arate si sa ma verifice. Cica sunt in periada de training acum. Norocul meu in acest moment e ca nu sunt camerele ocupate, deci nu ne omoram cu munca, inca. In contractul meu scrie ca sunt camerista, dar aici a fi camerista inseamna sa faci menajul hotelului, in zonele unde au acces clientii, de unde deduc eu ca sunt mai mult menajera, femeie de servici decat camerista (de la teoria invatata in facultate pana la practica din hotel e o cale foaaaarte lunga). Si, surpriza surprizelor, aici nu se vorbeste limba engleza, deci ne intelegem ca in turnul Babel. Norocul meu, inca o data, ca una din cameriste stie putina engleza pentru ca lucrat in state o perioada. Eu si cealalta camerista romanca ne-am lipit de ea si invatam meserie. Altfel nu stiu cum am fi putut sa invatam ceva. Cea care imi e sefa habar n-are engleza sau alta limba straina, numai managerul mai rupe cateva propozitii si cu una din fetele de la receptie, in rest... sunt bata cu totii. De aici trag concluzia ca eu vorbesc engleza mai bine decat toti. Asadar, ce caut eu aici? Glumesc. In hotelul asta nu vin turisti straini, cei care vin sunt cu totii greci, iar bacsis se face mai rar.
Mica noastra comunitate romaneasca se intalneste seara, dupa program la cafea si ne mai vedem la masa pentru ca mancam la aceiasi ora, ne mai intalnim si seara in una din camere ca sa mai stam de vorba, sa depanam amintiri, sa plangem dupa familie si lucrurile de care ne e dor. Imi lipseste tata cu care sa ma mai cert din cand in cand, dar care ma proteja intotdeauna, imi lipseste mama, prietena mea, cu care ma sfatuiam intotdeauna si care stia sa ma impinga de la spate, imi lipseste sormea cu care sa impart totul, mai ales patul, imi lipsesc Asi si conversatiile noastre pe net si la telefon, imi lipsesc colegii de munca si activitatea fata in fata cu clientii, vorbitul foarte mult.
Deci... e binisor pana acum, ma adaptez. Ce sa zic... o sa mai scriu. Pe curand.
...
Greece: olives, oranges, tourism.
This is all that comes in my mind when I say Greece. But there are other things too: uzo (traditional Greek alcoholic drink), feta cheese. And I will discover the rest of them.
I will start by telling you I am alright, because I don’t want you to be worried. I left the country being so stressed and I ended up getting the nicest gastritis ever. I’m lucky because here I can eat diet food, I mean in the mornings I’m having milk, butter, cheese and bread with seeds, and at the other meals I had chicken, soup, Greek salad, potatoes, pasta with cheese. But I will miss my mom’s soups and her sour ciorba (Romanian sour soup, similar to Russian bors). Here they don’t make ciorba, soups … sometimes, and the employees are not allowed to cook.
Tourists don’t come so often in this hotel in this season; they come mostly on the weekends for business meetings, presentations, conventions. In the summer basketball teams and handball teams come for training, they do weddings here; baptizing or sometimes it happens that very rich people come to stay (now we have only one man on the first floor and the hotel has over 100 rooms). My salary here is 650 euro, but the suites here are over 1000 euro per night. The luxury suite costs 1400 euro per night (and people stayed in it this weekend). So you can compare how rich are some of them and how poor are some of us. What you see now on TV is true: strikes, hunger, everything is expensive. Today, for example, government employees were on strike, and the three of us (we are 3 Romanian women here, 2 chambermaids and a masseuse) had to go to the police for paper work. They said to come back tomorrow because today no one is working.
It’s very expensive to live here. Clothes and shoes are very expensive, food is expensive and I don’t remember someone ever saying there are cheap things here. For example:
- Pair of leather shoes – 50 euro
- A bottle of fresh milk 1 liter – 1,40 euro
- A page copied – 15 euro cents
- A hair cut, painted too – 90 euro
- Bus ticket Salonic-Lamia (300 km) – 23,60 euro
- Bus ticket Lamia-Karpenisi (70 km) – 6,40 euro
- Bus ticket Karpenisi-Athens (300 km) – 22,30 euro
- Bus ticket in Salonic – 50 euro cents
The minimum brut wage in Greece is 1000 euro and 30% will be detained for health and social insurance. Greeks that don’t make it here immigrate in US. Here work Greeks, Romanians (we are 4, 3 girls and one boy), Albanians and Bulgarians. Similar to other places, there are differences between workers. Greeks work only 7-8 hours per day and have 2 days off while foreigners work 10 hours per day with only one day off. I have the advantage that breaks for breakfast and lunch are included in those 10 hours, which means I work only 9 hours. I haven’t worked all these hours until now because it means I would have to work by myself, without any old chambermaid that could verify me or show me how to do everything. It looks like I’m on training now. I’m lucky that now rooms are unoccupied so I’m not working like crazy, yet. In my contract says I’m a chambermaid, but here to be a chambermaid means you have to clean all the places that are accessible to the customer, so I guess I’m more a maid then a chambermaid (there is a very big difference between what I learned in school and what I have to do here). And, big surprise, here they don’t speak English so we understand each other like in the Babel tower. I’m lucky again that one of the chambermaids worked in the US and knows a little bit of English, so she is teaching us. I don’t know how else we could’ve learned anything. My boss knows no other language then Greek, only the manager and one of the receptionists are able to speak a bit. The rest of them none, no English. So I’m starting to ask myself: what am I doing here? And here come only Greek tourists, no foreigners, so the possibility for tipping is very little.
Our little Romanian community meets every evening for coffee and during the day when we eat. We eat at the same hour. We also meet in the evening in one of our rooms and talk, remember things, cry after our families and the things that we miss. I miss my dad and the fights we used to have, but he was always there to protect me; I miss my mom, my friend that always gave the best advices and pushed me; I miss my sis and the way we shared everything, especially the bed. I miss Asi and our conversations on the phone and internet; I miss my work colleagues and working face to face with my customers and talking very much.
So… it’s good until now, I’m trying to adapt. What else to say… I’m going to write again. See you soon.
marți, 1 decembrie 2009
Happy birthday, Romania! / La multi ani, Romania!
December 1 has remained in Romanian history as the Day of Romania, because on this day in Alba Iulia, in 1918, the unification of Transylvania with the united principalities of Moldavia and the Romanian Country has been accomplished .
So, let us live this day in a traditional way, with Romanian food, folk music, along with our loved ones and to enjoy that we live as a united nation.
Happy Birthday, my dear Romania!
Also ...
Happy Birthday, Pro TV!
Go Asesoft, although I am disappointed by the outcome of the match: 72 to 73 for Belgacom Liege (FIBA Europe Cup).
Tonight I went to a club where they also play Latin music. I’ve waited so long for a place like this one. I want to take dance lessons, perhaps starting next year.
***
1 decembrie a ramas in istoria romanilor ca Ziua Romaniei, deoarece in aceasta zi la Alba Iulia, in anul 1918, s-a infaptuit unirea Transilvaniei cu Principatele unite ale Moldovei si Tarii Romanesti.
Asadar, sa traim aceasta zi in mod traditional, cu bucate romanesti, cu muzica populara, alaturi de cei dragi noua si sa ne bucuram ca traim intr-o tara unita.
La multi ani, Romania mea draga!
Deasemenea...
La multi ani, ProTV!
Hai Asesoft, desi sunt dezamagita de rezultatul meciului: 72 - 73 pentru cei de la Belgacom Liege (FIBA Europe Cup).
In seara asta am fost intr-un club unde se pune si muzica latino. Asteptam de mult timp sa apara un astfel de local si pe la noi. Vreau sa iau lectii de dans, poate de la anu'.
So, let us live this day in a traditional way, with Romanian food, folk music, along with our loved ones and to enjoy that we live as a united nation.
Happy Birthday, my dear Romania!
Also ...
Happy Birthday, Pro TV!
Go Asesoft, although I am disappointed by the outcome of the match: 72 to 73 for Belgacom Liege (FIBA Europe Cup).
Tonight I went to a club where they also play Latin music. I’ve waited so long for a place like this one. I want to take dance lessons, perhaps starting next year.
***
1 decembrie a ramas in istoria romanilor ca Ziua Romaniei, deoarece in aceasta zi la Alba Iulia, in anul 1918, s-a infaptuit unirea Transilvaniei cu Principatele unite ale Moldovei si Tarii Romanesti.
Asadar, sa traim aceasta zi in mod traditional, cu bucate romanesti, cu muzica populara, alaturi de cei dragi noua si sa ne bucuram ca traim intr-o tara unita.
La multi ani, Romania mea draga!
Deasemenea...
La multi ani, ProTV!
Hai Asesoft, desi sunt dezamagita de rezultatul meciului: 72 - 73 pentru cei de la Belgacom Liege (FIBA Europe Cup).
In seara asta am fost intr-un club unde se pune si muzica latino. Asteptam de mult timp sa apara un astfel de local si pe la noi. Vreau sa iau lectii de dans, poate de la anu'.
vineri, 27 noiembrie 2009
Selfadvices / Autosfaturi
I was looking tonight over some of my writings and I found something that I like very much:
„Time heals wounds, but the scars remain and sometimes, when we face „bad weather”, they hurt. Time has his limits.”
There are many poems written by me, even prose, which make me feel in a certain way when I read them and not because they are mine or they are very good, but because they remind me of myself in that period. It’s like I can see myself then, when I had those feelings that made me lay everything on paper. I feel a stranger to some of them, probably because I’ve changed, but I can find myself in others. I don’t consider myself as being a poet or a writer. When I write I do it only because I feel like it, to free myself from my many thoughts. And sometimes I surprise myself because I am giving to me answers, encouragement and advices trough my writings.
But I better leave all the talking to my lines:
“Nothing it’s easy in this life. A lot of effort, a lot of waiting, pain and suffering are needed. We have to give everything, everything we got and everything we are for one cause, for what we want the most, for a dream without which we could not go forward.”
“I am a fighter. I’m not afraid of anything…”
“I’ve chosen. I will remain innocent. I will be a child hidden in a mask. And you will be deceived, because I will see the CHILD and you will see the MASK.”
“My instincts are making me see the truth. It’s like seeing another dimension of the world in front of my eyes and every person it’s wearing his truth print.”
“My body is an obstacle in the path of knowledge.”
“The silence of the night it’s letting reason to search very deep…”
There would be more but I prefer to leave them on some other time. I will post in the future my favorite poem called “Indrumari” (Guidance) that has many advices. And I saved the best for last:
“Get up and move on…
Broken wings can be fixed with glue.
Broken hearts can be stitched back into one piece.”
***
Ma uitam in seara asta peste cateva din scrierile mele si am gasit ceva ce imi place foarte mult:
„Timpul vindeca ranile, dar cicatricile raman si uneori, cand mai trecem prin perioade cu “vreme rea”, ele ne dor. Are si timpul limitele lui.”
Sunt o multime de poezii scrise de mine, chiar si proza, care ma fac sa ma simt intr-un fel anume atunci cand le citesc si nu pentru ca sunt ale mele, nici pentru ca ar fi ele foarte reusite ci pentru ca imi amintesc de mine in perioada aceea. E ca si cum as putea sa ma vad pe mine atunci cand am trait sentimentele acelea care m-au facut pana la urma sa astern totul pe hartie. Ma simt oarecum straina de unele din ele, probabil pentru ca m-am schimbat, dar in altele ma regasesc. Nu ma consider o poeta sau o scriitoare. Cand scriu o fac numai pentru ca asa simt, ca sa ma eliberez de prea multe ganduri. Si uneori ma uimesc pe mine insami deoarece imi ofer prin scrierile mele raspunsuri, incurajari, sfaturi.
Dar mai bine las randurile sa vorbeasca pentru mine:
"Nimic nu e usor in viata asta. E nevoie de mult efort, de o lunga asteptare, de durere, de suferinta. E nevoie sa dam totul, tot ce avem si ce suntem pentru o cauza, pentru ceea ce ne dorim cel mai mult, pentru un vis fara de care nu am putea sa mergem inainte."
"Sunt o luptatoare, nu ma tem de nimic..."
"Eu am ales. Am sa raman inocenta. O sa fiu un copil ascuns intr-o masca. Si veti fi inselati, deoarece eu o sa vad COPILUL, iar voi veti vedea MASCA."
"Instinctul ma face sa vad adevarul. E ca si cum as vedea o alta dimensiune a lumii pe care o am in fata si fiecare persoana poarta amprenta adevarului sau."
"Trupul meu este o piedica in calea cunoasterii."
"Tacerea noptii lasa ratiunea sa caute foarte adanc..."
Si ar mai fi si altele, dar prefer sa le las pe alta data. Intr-un post viitor voi pune poezia mea preferata „Indrumari”, care contine si mai multe sfaturi. Iar pentru sfarsit am pastrat altceva ce imi place foarte mult:
"Ridica-te si mergi mai departe...
Aripile frante pot fi fixate la loc cu lipici.
Inimile frante pot fi cusute inapoi intr-o bucata."
„Time heals wounds, but the scars remain and sometimes, when we face „bad weather”, they hurt. Time has his limits.”
There are many poems written by me, even prose, which make me feel in a certain way when I read them and not because they are mine or they are very good, but because they remind me of myself in that period. It’s like I can see myself then, when I had those feelings that made me lay everything on paper. I feel a stranger to some of them, probably because I’ve changed, but I can find myself in others. I don’t consider myself as being a poet or a writer. When I write I do it only because I feel like it, to free myself from my many thoughts. And sometimes I surprise myself because I am giving to me answers, encouragement and advices trough my writings.
But I better leave all the talking to my lines:
“Nothing it’s easy in this life. A lot of effort, a lot of waiting, pain and suffering are needed. We have to give everything, everything we got and everything we are for one cause, for what we want the most, for a dream without which we could not go forward.”
“I am a fighter. I’m not afraid of anything…”
“I’ve chosen. I will remain innocent. I will be a child hidden in a mask. And you will be deceived, because I will see the CHILD and you will see the MASK.”
“My instincts are making me see the truth. It’s like seeing another dimension of the world in front of my eyes and every person it’s wearing his truth print.”
“My body is an obstacle in the path of knowledge.”
“The silence of the night it’s letting reason to search very deep…”
There would be more but I prefer to leave them on some other time. I will post in the future my favorite poem called “Indrumari” (Guidance) that has many advices. And I saved the best for last:
“Get up and move on…
Broken wings can be fixed with glue.
Broken hearts can be stitched back into one piece.”
***
Ma uitam in seara asta peste cateva din scrierile mele si am gasit ceva ce imi place foarte mult:
„Timpul vindeca ranile, dar cicatricile raman si uneori, cand mai trecem prin perioade cu “vreme rea”, ele ne dor. Are si timpul limitele lui.”
Sunt o multime de poezii scrise de mine, chiar si proza, care ma fac sa ma simt intr-un fel anume atunci cand le citesc si nu pentru ca sunt ale mele, nici pentru ca ar fi ele foarte reusite ci pentru ca imi amintesc de mine in perioada aceea. E ca si cum as putea sa ma vad pe mine atunci cand am trait sentimentele acelea care m-au facut pana la urma sa astern totul pe hartie. Ma simt oarecum straina de unele din ele, probabil pentru ca m-am schimbat, dar in altele ma regasesc. Nu ma consider o poeta sau o scriitoare. Cand scriu o fac numai pentru ca asa simt, ca sa ma eliberez de prea multe ganduri. Si uneori ma uimesc pe mine insami deoarece imi ofer prin scrierile mele raspunsuri, incurajari, sfaturi.
Dar mai bine las randurile sa vorbeasca pentru mine:
"Nimic nu e usor in viata asta. E nevoie de mult efort, de o lunga asteptare, de durere, de suferinta. E nevoie sa dam totul, tot ce avem si ce suntem pentru o cauza, pentru ceea ce ne dorim cel mai mult, pentru un vis fara de care nu am putea sa mergem inainte."
"Sunt o luptatoare, nu ma tem de nimic..."
"Eu am ales. Am sa raman inocenta. O sa fiu un copil ascuns intr-o masca. Si veti fi inselati, deoarece eu o sa vad COPILUL, iar voi veti vedea MASCA."
"Instinctul ma face sa vad adevarul. E ca si cum as vedea o alta dimensiune a lumii pe care o am in fata si fiecare persoana poarta amprenta adevarului sau."
"Trupul meu este o piedica in calea cunoasterii."
"Tacerea noptii lasa ratiunea sa caute foarte adanc..."
Si ar mai fi si altele, dar prefer sa le las pe alta data. Intr-un post viitor voi pune poezia mea preferata „Indrumari”, care contine si mai multe sfaturi. Iar pentru sfarsit am pastrat altceva ce imi place foarte mult:
"Ridica-te si mergi mai departe...
Aripile frante pot fi fixate la loc cu lipici.
Inimile frante pot fi cusute inapoi intr-o bucata."
luni, 23 noiembrie 2009
I need a miracle
AFTERLIFE - MIRACLE
There was a time when I was happy, when miracles were happening every day, when I had dreams and hopes that were unbreakable. There was a time when I believed in people and, mostly, I believed in myself. I saw no barriers then. I believed in the truth, in honesty, in good intentions. But one by one my beliefs were shook up and demolished and I realized that I had expectations, too many and too big rising too high and others did not wanted to rise up to them. I was wrong and you all showed me how wrong I was. And I have no false hopes now, I’m not expecting things, I’m just waiting, living, breathing with all my faith and love. I have things to give back to the world, but the world seems unprepared to receive them.
I need a sunrise, to feel the warm sun rays on my face, to breathe again that fresh air, to believe that everything will be alright and I’m not going to be alone. I need to recharge my batteries and restart my life.
I need a sunrise, I need a miracle, I need … .
(Take this moment, make it still
Stay forever, by my side
Make a promise, to your soul
Leave me never, that I know
It can be
But I know, it can be
Lost our way, you and me
I'm still in love with you
And you said to me
I will set you free
But I silently remain
I need a miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
(Your love has left away)
(You wash away my pain)
I remember, days gone by
Warm and tender, makes me cry
I know it can be
But I know, it can be
Lost our way, you and me
I'm still in love with you
And you said to me
I will set you free
But I silently remain
I need a miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We'll need a miracle this time)
Update
I've voted ... for the third place candidate: Antonescu.
I'm pissed off. Romanians are really stupid. They voted for the same parties that ruled this country since 1990 (the revolution) until now. And nothing good happend. In this 20 years nothing is better: no economy, no industry, no agriculture, no turism, no education, no health system, nothing new built, no infrastructure, a growing inflation rate, a growing unemployment rate, a non stable exchange rate with our curency going way down, lack of investors and others.
I've decided is time to pack up my things and leave the country before it sinks to the bottom.
U can all "live well!" like Basescu said.
But who should get "my stamp" on December 6: Basescu or Geoana?
I'm pissed off. Romanians are really stupid. They voted for the same parties that ruled this country since 1990 (the revolution) until now. And nothing good happend. In this 20 years nothing is better: no economy, no industry, no agriculture, no turism, no education, no health system, nothing new built, no infrastructure, a growing inflation rate, a growing unemployment rate, a non stable exchange rate with our curency going way down, lack of investors and others.
I've decided is time to pack up my things and leave the country before it sinks to the bottom.
U can all "live well!" like Basescu said.
But who should get "my stamp" on December 6: Basescu or Geoana?
duminică, 22 noiembrie 2009
Going to vote...
I'm going to vote the president. I'm waiting for the results next week. The future of Romania starts today.
I'm on vacation next week. I can't wait to stay home and do nothing. My sis wants us to go to Marasesti. That would be nice. I love traveling and seeing new places.
How much time do I have to wait until it will snow?
I'm on vacation next week. I can't wait to stay home and do nothing. My sis wants us to go to Marasesti. That would be nice. I love traveling and seeing new places.
How much time do I have to wait until it will snow?
vineri, 20 noiembrie 2009
2012 - The movie
Americans are still obsessed with the idea of the world ending. Seems this is the best subject that leaves enough place for the producers, screen players, directors and actors to do what they do best: imagine and act. Who knows when the world will end and how? Only God. But we are interested in the apocalypse and this kind of movies draws us to the cinema. So big bucks come out from this popular theme.
Anyway, the movie is great. The special effects make it look fantastic, the sounds are terrifying - they enhance our feelings and emotions: it has a little bit of romance and it brings out some very exploited subjects: humanity, the fight to survive no matter the cost, sense of duty, keeping faith and praying in the last moment, the supreme sacrifice.
Want to see it? Go to the cinema. You will enjoy it, I can assure you.
So…
If you would know these are the last 24 hours of your life, how would you spend them?
Who would be on your mind in the last moment?
If you would have to sacrifice your life for someone else to live, for whom would you sacrifice it?
What would you do to make sure you will survive?
Anyway, the movie is great. The special effects make it look fantastic, the sounds are terrifying - they enhance our feelings and emotions: it has a little bit of romance and it brings out some very exploited subjects: humanity, the fight to survive no matter the cost, sense of duty, keeping faith and praying in the last moment, the supreme sacrifice.
Want to see it? Go to the cinema. You will enjoy it, I can assure you.
So…
If you would know these are the last 24 hours of your life, how would you spend them?
Who would be on your mind in the last moment?
If you would have to sacrifice your life for someone else to live, for whom would you sacrifice it?
What would you do to make sure you will survive?
miercuri, 18 noiembrie 2009
Life sucks.. or not?/ Viata e de rahat... sau nu?
Yes, I’m in a crisis. It’s quite normal to be in one because of the many frustrations gathered in the last months, maybe a year. And who would not be frustrated in my shoes, when there are so many dreams and hopes and wishes that are not becoming reality. With what should I begin? …
Well… at 26 I am still living with my parents and I can’t see a way to change that in the close future. At this age other women are married and have kids, their own house… I don’t. (Remark: I’m saying women although I feel like saying girls, because I can’t see myself as a woman. I feel and I look at myself as if I were 18. Somehow, I feel I can blame for this the fact that until this age I haven’t been involved in a long term relationship where “he” can make me feel as a woman. But this is another thing…) Living with my parents gives me a sense of humiliation, my pride losing the battle in front of the compromise of not doing what I want when I want it and in front of the need to conform myself to some rules that I don’t believe in. Many times privacy doesn’t exist or it’s “something that all four of us know, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to find out”. Well, I admit that I enjoy also the financial and psychological benefits: mom cooks and cleans, I only help; dad brings the money and he is not asking me to participate in the expenses, but I do it with pleasure; the comfort of my home and the joy of living with my family, the stuff that is dear to me. But sometimes these things do not compensate the feeling of inutility or of a wasted life. I have the tendency to compare all the time my achievements with those of other people and from here all the frustrations begin: I don’t have, I don’t own, I don’t… they do.
Then comes the work part, but who is totally satisfied of his job? I’ve been working here for 4 years and I don’t see any promotion or raise chance any time soon. I tried to change jobs, but when I found something I liked the payment was disappointing. Nobody is paying the true work value anymore. Even jobs with great responsibilities that require a college degree are being paid just a little over the minimum wage. What can I do then? I’m waiting, on a 700 leis payment with food tickets, I pay the bills first, then expenses and I hold on to what I have left until my next salary. If I restrain myself from spending money and I don’t delight myself but I stop at what’s absolutely necessary, I can manage to save up some cash. If not… that’s life.
In the heart’s matters I don’t know what to say. I’m not doing well, neither bad. But that’s how things are when you are in love with someone you met on the internet and you have never seen him. I usually have a hard time “managing” any relationship, even more now when things are so complicated. It’s very hard to have this kind of a relationship and to keep it balanced, because there is a great passion, everything is intense, positive tensions and energies are being born and when they can’t be displayed and consumed inside the couple, they become negative and transform themselves into fights and arguments without a real base. Yes, to me it seems easier to fight then to say “I love you, you are everything to me and I cry because I miss you so much, I pray for you every night”. I feel vulnerable when I let my true feelings and thoughts to be seen, so I prefer not saying but keeping them only for myself and, in this way, I can keep myself protected. Even if I know I can believe in him and he is never going to hurt me I still can’t open myself totally, I still try to protect myself. Many times I leave fear aside and I say what I feel and think in that moment and I feel liberated, happy, but I don’t forget that I’m just a butterfly in the wind, wind that can become anytime a tornado.
Someone asked me some day: why a guy from a country so far away? Couldn’t you find one here? I answered: I think I’ve wished him for me and God gave him to me. A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I imagined a story where I borrowed my character, personality and name to the girl in the leading role, Andreea, and I invented for her in the leading role a man that would have all the qualities and flows that I wanted my soul mate to have and I named him Rayel. And I prayed to God that this someone would exist and bring him into my life. And he made my wish come true. The resemblance is striking and it makes me ask sometimes if HE really exists or HE is only in my imagination, if this romance is not only in my head. And the more time passes, the more I realize that HE is more beautiful then I could ever imagine. And HE exists, lives and has flesh and bones like me, breaths and speaks and has this lovely voice and an extraordinary accent and HE makes me feel good about myself, HE loves me, wants me and misses me. And many times I feel him: his touch in my palms, in my blood, in my arms; his breath and his body odor, his heart beating along with mine. I know I love him, he knows I love him and I am lucky to be able to live such a story and I’m waiting impatiently the day when we will meet face to face.
So… Yes, life has its ugly, bad parts, but it also has its good moments. And most of the time when I count, the good is more important than the bad. So “heads up and with God forward”. Any sorrow passes and good days always come. My happy moment will come, when I will draw the line and look at the score: frustrations 0 – accomplishments infinity.
***
Da, m-a apucat criza. Era si normal sa ma apuce deoarece am foarte multe frustrari stranse in cateva luni, un an si ceva chiar. Si cine nu ar fi frustrat in locul meu cand ai atat de multe vise si sperante si dorinte si vezi ca nici una nu devine realitate. Cu ce sa incep? ...
Pai... la 26 de ani inca mai locuiesc cu parintii si nu vad nici o sansa in viitorul apropiat ca acest lucru sa se schimbe. La varsta aceasta alte femei sunt maritate, au si copii, casa lor... eu nu. (Observatie: spun femei desi tendinta este sa spun fete, asta pentru ca eu inca nu reusesc sa ma percep ca si femeie. Eu inca ma simt si ma privesc ca si cum as avea 18 ani. Pe undeva consider ca vina acestui lucru o poarta si faptul ca pana la varsta aceasta eu nu am avut o relatie de lunga durata in care „el” sa ma faca sa simt ca sunt femeie. Dar acesta e un alt subiect...) Faptul ca inca locuiesc cu ai mei imi da o senzatie de umilinta, mandria mea fiind de multe ori stirbita in fata compromisului de a nu face ce am chef atunci cand am chef si de a ma conforma unor reguli in care nu cred. De multe ori intimitatea nu exista sau insemana „ceva ce noi patru stim, dar restul lumii nu trebuie sa afle”. Bine, recunosc ca ma bucur si de avantajele financiare si psihologice: mama gateste si face curat, eu numai ajut; tata aduce banii si nu-mi cere sa particip la cheltuieli, dar o fac eu de placere; confortul locuintei si bucuria de a convietui cu familia, obiectele dragi. Dar uneori lucrurile astea nu compenseaza sentimentul inutilitatii si al vietii risipite. Am tendinta de a-mi compara in permanenta realizarile cu ale celorlalti si de aici se nasc frustrarile: eu nu am, nu posed, eu nu... ei da.
Apoi vine partea cu munca, dar cine e total multumit de jobul sau? Lucrez pe postul acesta de 4 ani si nu intrevad nici o sansa la promovare sau marire de salariu. Am incercat sa-mi schimb locul de munca, dar unde am gasit ceva salarizarea a fost cea care nu m-a multumit. Nimeni nu mai plateste la adevarata valoare. Chiar si joburile cu responsabilitate mare, care necesita studii superioare sunt platite cu putin peste salariul minim pe economie. Ce sa fac atunci? Mai stau asa, pe 700 de lei plus bonuri de masa, platesc facturile intai, apoi cheltuielile curente si trag de ce-mi mai ramane pana la salariul urmator. Daca ma restrang la cheltuieli, nu ma desfat cu cine stie ce si ma rezum la ce e absolut necesar, reusesc sa mai pun si un ban deoparte. Daca nu... asta e.
Pe plan sentimental n-as sti sa spun cum stau, nici bine, dar nici rau. Asa e cand esti indragostita de o persoana pe care ai cunoscut-o pe net si cu care nu te-ai vazut niciodata. Eu de obicei nu stiu cum sa „manageriez” o relatie, mai ales acum cand lucrurile sunt atat de complicate. Este foarte greu sa ai o relatie de genul acesta echilibrata, deoarece pasiunea e mare, totul se traieste cu intensitate, se nasc energii si tensiuni pozitive, care atunci cand nu pot fi manifestate si consumate in interiorul cuplului devin negative, se transforma in certuri si discutii aprinse fara un fond real. Da, mie imi e mai usor sa ma cert decat sa spun „te iubesc, esti totul pentru mine, plang de dorul tau, ma rog pentru tine in fiecare seara”. Ma simt vulnerabila atunci cand las sa se vada adevaratele mele sentimente si ganduri si de aceea prefer sa nu le spun, le tin acolo doar pentru mine si reusesc in modul acesta sa ma simt mai protejata. Si chiar daca stiu ca pot sa cred in el si ca nu ma va rani niciodata tot nu reusesc sa ma deschid total, tot incerc sa ma protejez. De multe ori las teama la o parte si spun ceea ce simt si gandesc in acel moment si ma simt eliberata, fericita, dar nu uit ca eu sunt doar un fluture in bataia vantului, vant care se poate transforma oricand in tornada.
M-a intrebat cineva intr-o zi: dar de ce un baiat dintr-o tara atat de departe? Nu puteai sa gasesti si tu unul de la noi? Eu am raspuns: cred ca eu mi l-am dorit, iar Dumnezeu mi l-a dat. Demult, pe cand eu eram adolescenta, mi-am imaginat o poveste in care am imprumutat caracterul, personalitatea si numele meu personajului feminin principal, Andreea, si pentru care am inventat un personaj masculin principal care sa aiba toate calitatile si defectele pe care mi le-am dorit eu la jumatatea mea si i-am pus numele Rayel. Si m-am rugat la Dumnezeu ca acest cineva sa existe si sa il aduca in viata mea. Si el mi-a indeplinit dorinta. Asemanarile sunt izbitoare si ma fac sa ma intreb uneori daca EL exista cu adevarat sau e numai in imaginatia mea, daca nu cumva idila aceasta este doar in capul meu. Si cu cat trece mai mult timp, cu atat realizez ca EL este mult mai frumos decat mi-am putut imagina eu. Si exista, traieste si e din carne si oase ca si mine, respira si vorbeste si are o voce frumoasa si un accent superb si ma face sa ma simt bine in pielea mea, ma iubeste, ma doreste si ii e dor de mine. Iar eu de multe ori il simt: in palmele mele atingerea sa, in sangele meu, in bratele mele; respiratia si parfumul trupului sau, inima lui batand o data cu a mea. Stiu ca il iubesc, si el stie ca il iubesc si sunt norocoasa ca pot traii o asemenea poveste si astept cu nerabdare ziua in care ne vom intalni fata in fata.
Asa ca... Da, viata are partile ei proaste, urate, dar are si momentele ei bune. Si de cele mai multe ori, cand le pun in balanta, cele bune sunt mai importante decat cele rele. Asa ca „capul sus si cu Dumnezeu inainte”. Orice suparare trece si totdeauna vin si zile mai bune. Pana la urma va sosi si momentul meu de fericire, cand o sa trag linie si o sa-mi calculez scorul: frustrari 0 - realizari infinit.
Well… at 26 I am still living with my parents and I can’t see a way to change that in the close future. At this age other women are married and have kids, their own house… I don’t. (Remark: I’m saying women although I feel like saying girls, because I can’t see myself as a woman. I feel and I look at myself as if I were 18. Somehow, I feel I can blame for this the fact that until this age I haven’t been involved in a long term relationship where “he” can make me feel as a woman. But this is another thing…) Living with my parents gives me a sense of humiliation, my pride losing the battle in front of the compromise of not doing what I want when I want it and in front of the need to conform myself to some rules that I don’t believe in. Many times privacy doesn’t exist or it’s “something that all four of us know, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to find out”. Well, I admit that I enjoy also the financial and psychological benefits: mom cooks and cleans, I only help; dad brings the money and he is not asking me to participate in the expenses, but I do it with pleasure; the comfort of my home and the joy of living with my family, the stuff that is dear to me. But sometimes these things do not compensate the feeling of inutility or of a wasted life. I have the tendency to compare all the time my achievements with those of other people and from here all the frustrations begin: I don’t have, I don’t own, I don’t… they do.
Then comes the work part, but who is totally satisfied of his job? I’ve been working here for 4 years and I don’t see any promotion or raise chance any time soon. I tried to change jobs, but when I found something I liked the payment was disappointing. Nobody is paying the true work value anymore. Even jobs with great responsibilities that require a college degree are being paid just a little over the minimum wage. What can I do then? I’m waiting, on a 700 leis payment with food tickets, I pay the bills first, then expenses and I hold on to what I have left until my next salary. If I restrain myself from spending money and I don’t delight myself but I stop at what’s absolutely necessary, I can manage to save up some cash. If not… that’s life.
In the heart’s matters I don’t know what to say. I’m not doing well, neither bad. But that’s how things are when you are in love with someone you met on the internet and you have never seen him. I usually have a hard time “managing” any relationship, even more now when things are so complicated. It’s very hard to have this kind of a relationship and to keep it balanced, because there is a great passion, everything is intense, positive tensions and energies are being born and when they can’t be displayed and consumed inside the couple, they become negative and transform themselves into fights and arguments without a real base. Yes, to me it seems easier to fight then to say “I love you, you are everything to me and I cry because I miss you so much, I pray for you every night”. I feel vulnerable when I let my true feelings and thoughts to be seen, so I prefer not saying but keeping them only for myself and, in this way, I can keep myself protected. Even if I know I can believe in him and he is never going to hurt me I still can’t open myself totally, I still try to protect myself. Many times I leave fear aside and I say what I feel and think in that moment and I feel liberated, happy, but I don’t forget that I’m just a butterfly in the wind, wind that can become anytime a tornado.
Someone asked me some day: why a guy from a country so far away? Couldn’t you find one here? I answered: I think I’ve wished him for me and God gave him to me. A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I imagined a story where I borrowed my character, personality and name to the girl in the leading role, Andreea, and I invented for her in the leading role a man that would have all the qualities and flows that I wanted my soul mate to have and I named him Rayel. And I prayed to God that this someone would exist and bring him into my life. And he made my wish come true. The resemblance is striking and it makes me ask sometimes if HE really exists or HE is only in my imagination, if this romance is not only in my head. And the more time passes, the more I realize that HE is more beautiful then I could ever imagine. And HE exists, lives and has flesh and bones like me, breaths and speaks and has this lovely voice and an extraordinary accent and HE makes me feel good about myself, HE loves me, wants me and misses me. And many times I feel him: his touch in my palms, in my blood, in my arms; his breath and his body odor, his heart beating along with mine. I know I love him, he knows I love him and I am lucky to be able to live such a story and I’m waiting impatiently the day when we will meet face to face.
So… Yes, life has its ugly, bad parts, but it also has its good moments. And most of the time when I count, the good is more important than the bad. So “heads up and with God forward”. Any sorrow passes and good days always come. My happy moment will come, when I will draw the line and look at the score: frustrations 0 – accomplishments infinity.
***
Da, m-a apucat criza. Era si normal sa ma apuce deoarece am foarte multe frustrari stranse in cateva luni, un an si ceva chiar. Si cine nu ar fi frustrat in locul meu cand ai atat de multe vise si sperante si dorinte si vezi ca nici una nu devine realitate. Cu ce sa incep? ...
Pai... la 26 de ani inca mai locuiesc cu parintii si nu vad nici o sansa in viitorul apropiat ca acest lucru sa se schimbe. La varsta aceasta alte femei sunt maritate, au si copii, casa lor... eu nu. (Observatie: spun femei desi tendinta este sa spun fete, asta pentru ca eu inca nu reusesc sa ma percep ca si femeie. Eu inca ma simt si ma privesc ca si cum as avea 18 ani. Pe undeva consider ca vina acestui lucru o poarta si faptul ca pana la varsta aceasta eu nu am avut o relatie de lunga durata in care „el” sa ma faca sa simt ca sunt femeie. Dar acesta e un alt subiect...) Faptul ca inca locuiesc cu ai mei imi da o senzatie de umilinta, mandria mea fiind de multe ori stirbita in fata compromisului de a nu face ce am chef atunci cand am chef si de a ma conforma unor reguli in care nu cred. De multe ori intimitatea nu exista sau insemana „ceva ce noi patru stim, dar restul lumii nu trebuie sa afle”. Bine, recunosc ca ma bucur si de avantajele financiare si psihologice: mama gateste si face curat, eu numai ajut; tata aduce banii si nu-mi cere sa particip la cheltuieli, dar o fac eu de placere; confortul locuintei si bucuria de a convietui cu familia, obiectele dragi. Dar uneori lucrurile astea nu compenseaza sentimentul inutilitatii si al vietii risipite. Am tendinta de a-mi compara in permanenta realizarile cu ale celorlalti si de aici se nasc frustrarile: eu nu am, nu posed, eu nu... ei da.
Apoi vine partea cu munca, dar cine e total multumit de jobul sau? Lucrez pe postul acesta de 4 ani si nu intrevad nici o sansa la promovare sau marire de salariu. Am incercat sa-mi schimb locul de munca, dar unde am gasit ceva salarizarea a fost cea care nu m-a multumit. Nimeni nu mai plateste la adevarata valoare. Chiar si joburile cu responsabilitate mare, care necesita studii superioare sunt platite cu putin peste salariul minim pe economie. Ce sa fac atunci? Mai stau asa, pe 700 de lei plus bonuri de masa, platesc facturile intai, apoi cheltuielile curente si trag de ce-mi mai ramane pana la salariul urmator. Daca ma restrang la cheltuieli, nu ma desfat cu cine stie ce si ma rezum la ce e absolut necesar, reusesc sa mai pun si un ban deoparte. Daca nu... asta e.
Pe plan sentimental n-as sti sa spun cum stau, nici bine, dar nici rau. Asa e cand esti indragostita de o persoana pe care ai cunoscut-o pe net si cu care nu te-ai vazut niciodata. Eu de obicei nu stiu cum sa „manageriez” o relatie, mai ales acum cand lucrurile sunt atat de complicate. Este foarte greu sa ai o relatie de genul acesta echilibrata, deoarece pasiunea e mare, totul se traieste cu intensitate, se nasc energii si tensiuni pozitive, care atunci cand nu pot fi manifestate si consumate in interiorul cuplului devin negative, se transforma in certuri si discutii aprinse fara un fond real. Da, mie imi e mai usor sa ma cert decat sa spun „te iubesc, esti totul pentru mine, plang de dorul tau, ma rog pentru tine in fiecare seara”. Ma simt vulnerabila atunci cand las sa se vada adevaratele mele sentimente si ganduri si de aceea prefer sa nu le spun, le tin acolo doar pentru mine si reusesc in modul acesta sa ma simt mai protejata. Si chiar daca stiu ca pot sa cred in el si ca nu ma va rani niciodata tot nu reusesc sa ma deschid total, tot incerc sa ma protejez. De multe ori las teama la o parte si spun ceea ce simt si gandesc in acel moment si ma simt eliberata, fericita, dar nu uit ca eu sunt doar un fluture in bataia vantului, vant care se poate transforma oricand in tornada.
M-a intrebat cineva intr-o zi: dar de ce un baiat dintr-o tara atat de departe? Nu puteai sa gasesti si tu unul de la noi? Eu am raspuns: cred ca eu mi l-am dorit, iar Dumnezeu mi l-a dat. Demult, pe cand eu eram adolescenta, mi-am imaginat o poveste in care am imprumutat caracterul, personalitatea si numele meu personajului feminin principal, Andreea, si pentru care am inventat un personaj masculin principal care sa aiba toate calitatile si defectele pe care mi le-am dorit eu la jumatatea mea si i-am pus numele Rayel. Si m-am rugat la Dumnezeu ca acest cineva sa existe si sa il aduca in viata mea. Si el mi-a indeplinit dorinta. Asemanarile sunt izbitoare si ma fac sa ma intreb uneori daca EL exista cu adevarat sau e numai in imaginatia mea, daca nu cumva idila aceasta este doar in capul meu. Si cu cat trece mai mult timp, cu atat realizez ca EL este mult mai frumos decat mi-am putut imagina eu. Si exista, traieste si e din carne si oase ca si mine, respira si vorbeste si are o voce frumoasa si un accent superb si ma face sa ma simt bine in pielea mea, ma iubeste, ma doreste si ii e dor de mine. Iar eu de multe ori il simt: in palmele mele atingerea sa, in sangele meu, in bratele mele; respiratia si parfumul trupului sau, inima lui batand o data cu a mea. Stiu ca il iubesc, si el stie ca il iubesc si sunt norocoasa ca pot traii o asemenea poveste si astept cu nerabdare ziua in care ne vom intalni fata in fata.
Asa ca... Da, viata are partile ei proaste, urate, dar are si momentele ei bune. Si de cele mai multe ori, cand le pun in balanta, cele bune sunt mai importante decat cele rele. Asa ca „capul sus si cu Dumnezeu inainte”. Orice suparare trece si totdeauna vin si zile mai bune. Pana la urma va sosi si momentul meu de fericire, cand o sa trag linie si o sa-mi calculez scorul: frustrari 0 - realizari infinit.
marți, 3 noiembrie 2009
Run / Fugi
Leona Lewis - Run
Sometimes it's hard to say sorry. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to express what you feel. Sometimes all it takes is to let time flow.
I feel weird right now, like i'm watching my life go on without me. All is happening to fast and I don't have enough time to react, to control it. I'm tired.
It's almost 4 in the morning and, instead of sleeping, I would step outside for a run and I wouldn't stop until I would feel like my heart is exploding in my chest and there is not enough air to breath. I feel lost, from myself, from you, from what I used to know and I liked, from what I used to feel. I'm alone, I feel alone, although there was a time when I wasn't feeling like this. I got lost along the way and I'm afraid I lost you also.
To many things are on my mind now and I can't feel at peace with no one, not even with myself. And I'm lost and afraid, and alone, and I got so tired and all i need now is to run, run for my life, run and cry.
***
Uneori e greu sa spui "imi pare rau". Uneori e greu sa gasesti cuvintele potrivite care sa exprime ceea ce simti. Uneori e nevoie doar sa lasi timpul sa treaca.
Ma simt ciudat acum, de parca as fi spectatoare la viata mea. Totul se intampla prea repede iar eu nu am timp sa reactionez, sa controlez ceva. Am obosit.
E aproape 4 dimineata iar eu, in loc sa dorm, as iesi afara sa alerg si nu m-as mai opri pana nu as simti ca-mi explodeaza inima in piept si ca nu mai am aer sa respir. Ma simt pierduta, de mine, de tine, de ceea ce stiam si imi placea, de ceea ce simteam candva. Sunt singura, ma simt singura, desi a fost o vreme cand nu ma simteam astfel. M-am pierdut undeva pe drum si ma tem ca te-am pierdut si pe tine.
Ma gandesc la prea multe lucruri acum si nu ma simt impacata cu nimeni, nici macar cu mine insami. Si sunt pierduta si mi-e teama, sunt singura si sunt atat de obosita si tot ceea ce imi trebuie acum este sa fug, sa fug pentru viata mea, sa fug si sa plang.
luni, 21 septembrie 2009
Frumoasa si Bestia / Beauty and the Beast
Toata lumea il stie pe Walt Disney, nu? Si toti cunoastem povestea asta cu Belle si Bestia.
Ea - frumoasa, visatoare, culta, gingasa, echilibrata, saraca. El - urat, rece, puternic, temperamental, arogant, bogat. Doua lumi total diferite, dar care se atrag. Oare noi nu suntem la fel? Noi, in relatiile noastre nu ne purtam la fel ca ei, Belle si Bestia?
In oricare relatie unul din parteneri este mai puternic decat celalalt, mai fragil, mai supus sau mai calm. Ne asumam un rol de la inceput sau n-il descoperim pe parcurs, cand incepem sa ne cunoastem cu adevarat, atat intre noi cat si pe noi insine. Cine spune ca stie totul despre el insusi nu stie de fapt nimic, cine spune ca el nu se va schimba niciodata este cel mai mare mincinos. O relatie te schimba, in bine sau in rau, te transforma, te provoaca, te domina. E alegerea ta cine vei fi dupa o zi, dupa o luna, dupa un an... mai puternic sau mai slab, sclav sau stapan sau undeva la mijloc, pastrand echilibrul.
Asa ca intreaba-te cine ai fost, cine esti si cine vei deveni. Iti place persoana aceea din viitorul tau? Atunci mergi mai departe in relatia asta. Daca nu iti place atunci schimba-te, spunei celuilalt adio si cauta ceva mai bun pentru tine. Stiu oameni care au avut curaj sa faca pasul asta si acum sunt in sfarsit fericiti. Intotdeauna se poate si mai bine.
Dar atunci cand iubesti prea mult si crezi in dragostea voastra e greu sa renunti la ce ai, chiar daca uneori nu ai nimic decat manunchiul asta de sentimente: iubire amestecata cu ura, speranta cu neincredere, implinire cu suferinta. Si acesta este genul de relatie in care cei doi au foarte clar definite rolurile: unul va fi Frumoasa in timp ce celalalt va fi Bestia. Unul isi va dori sa fie iubit iar celalalt isi va dori sa daruiasca iubire, unul va domina iar celalalt se va lasa ingenuncheat, unul va fi crud iar celalalt milostiv. Dar la final exista echilibru: amandoi castiga pentru ca relatia asta ii transforma. Cel puternic invata sa se lase stapanit, cucerit, in timp ce acela fragil invata gustul puterii si intelege ca oamenii, prin natura lor, pot fi atat buni, cat si rai, iar acea malitiozitate, de cele mai multe ori nu e decat o masca care ascunde un suflet sensibil, foarte usor de ranit.
Dar poate ca Frumoasa intelesese rolul ei din prima clipa cand a privit Bestia in ochi.
***
Everybody knows Walt Disney, isn’t so? And we all know this story about Belle and the Beast.
She – beautiful, dreamy, literate, delicate, balanced, poor. He – ugly, cold, strong, short tempered, prideful, rich. Two totally different worlds, but who are attracted to each other. Aren’t we the same? In our relationships don’t we act just like them, like Belle and the Beast?
One of the partners is always stronger, more fragile, and more submissive or more calm then the other, in every relation. We are assuming a role-play from the beginning or we are discovering it on the way, when we begin to really know each other or thyself. Who says that he knows everything there is about him actually doesn’t know a thing, who says he will never change is the greatest liar. A relationship changes who you are for the better or for the worst, it transforms you, provokes you, and dominates you. It’s your choice who you’re going to be after one day, one month or one year… stronger or weaker, slave or master or somewhere in between, keeping the balance.
So ask yourself who were you, who are you and who you will became. Do you like that person from your future? Then go on in this relationship. If you don’t like it then change yourself, say goodbye to the other one and search better for you. I know people who had enough courage to make this step and now they are finally happy. You can always do better.
But when you love too much and you believe in your love it’s hard to give up on what you have, even if sometimes all you have is a bunch of these feelings: love mixed with hate, hope with disbelief, accomplished with hurt. And this is that kind of relation where both are playing these roles: one will be Beauty while the other one will be Beast. One will wish to be loved while the other will want to give love, one will dominate and the other one will let himself knelt, one will be cruel and the other one merciful. But in the end there is balance: they both win because this relationship transforms them. The strong one learns to let himself mastered, conquered, while the fragile one learns the taste of power and understands that people, by their nature, can be good and bad, and this malice, most of the times is only a mask that hides a very sensible, easy to hurt soul.
But maybe Beauty understood her role from the first moment she looked into the Beasts eyes.
Ea - frumoasa, visatoare, culta, gingasa, echilibrata, saraca. El - urat, rece, puternic, temperamental, arogant, bogat. Doua lumi total diferite, dar care se atrag. Oare noi nu suntem la fel? Noi, in relatiile noastre nu ne purtam la fel ca ei, Belle si Bestia?
In oricare relatie unul din parteneri este mai puternic decat celalalt, mai fragil, mai supus sau mai calm. Ne asumam un rol de la inceput sau n-il descoperim pe parcurs, cand incepem sa ne cunoastem cu adevarat, atat intre noi cat si pe noi insine. Cine spune ca stie totul despre el insusi nu stie de fapt nimic, cine spune ca el nu se va schimba niciodata este cel mai mare mincinos. O relatie te schimba, in bine sau in rau, te transforma, te provoaca, te domina. E alegerea ta cine vei fi dupa o zi, dupa o luna, dupa un an... mai puternic sau mai slab, sclav sau stapan sau undeva la mijloc, pastrand echilibrul.
Asa ca intreaba-te cine ai fost, cine esti si cine vei deveni. Iti place persoana aceea din viitorul tau? Atunci mergi mai departe in relatia asta. Daca nu iti place atunci schimba-te, spunei celuilalt adio si cauta ceva mai bun pentru tine. Stiu oameni care au avut curaj sa faca pasul asta si acum sunt in sfarsit fericiti. Intotdeauna se poate si mai bine.
Dar atunci cand iubesti prea mult si crezi in dragostea voastra e greu sa renunti la ce ai, chiar daca uneori nu ai nimic decat manunchiul asta de sentimente: iubire amestecata cu ura, speranta cu neincredere, implinire cu suferinta. Si acesta este genul de relatie in care cei doi au foarte clar definite rolurile: unul va fi Frumoasa in timp ce celalalt va fi Bestia. Unul isi va dori sa fie iubit iar celalalt isi va dori sa daruiasca iubire, unul va domina iar celalalt se va lasa ingenuncheat, unul va fi crud iar celalalt milostiv. Dar la final exista echilibru: amandoi castiga pentru ca relatia asta ii transforma. Cel puternic invata sa se lase stapanit, cucerit, in timp ce acela fragil invata gustul puterii si intelege ca oamenii, prin natura lor, pot fi atat buni, cat si rai, iar acea malitiozitate, de cele mai multe ori nu e decat o masca care ascunde un suflet sensibil, foarte usor de ranit.
Dar poate ca Frumoasa intelesese rolul ei din prima clipa cand a privit Bestia in ochi.
***
Everybody knows Walt Disney, isn’t so? And we all know this story about Belle and the Beast.
She – beautiful, dreamy, literate, delicate, balanced, poor. He – ugly, cold, strong, short tempered, prideful, rich. Two totally different worlds, but who are attracted to each other. Aren’t we the same? In our relationships don’t we act just like them, like Belle and the Beast?
One of the partners is always stronger, more fragile, and more submissive or more calm then the other, in every relation. We are assuming a role-play from the beginning or we are discovering it on the way, when we begin to really know each other or thyself. Who says that he knows everything there is about him actually doesn’t know a thing, who says he will never change is the greatest liar. A relationship changes who you are for the better or for the worst, it transforms you, provokes you, and dominates you. It’s your choice who you’re going to be after one day, one month or one year… stronger or weaker, slave or master or somewhere in between, keeping the balance.
So ask yourself who were you, who are you and who you will became. Do you like that person from your future? Then go on in this relationship. If you don’t like it then change yourself, say goodbye to the other one and search better for you. I know people who had enough courage to make this step and now they are finally happy. You can always do better.
But when you love too much and you believe in your love it’s hard to give up on what you have, even if sometimes all you have is a bunch of these feelings: love mixed with hate, hope with disbelief, accomplished with hurt. And this is that kind of relation where both are playing these roles: one will be Beauty while the other one will be Beast. One will wish to be loved while the other will want to give love, one will dominate and the other one will let himself knelt, one will be cruel and the other one merciful. But in the end there is balance: they both win because this relationship transforms them. The strong one learns to let himself mastered, conquered, while the fragile one learns the taste of power and understands that people, by their nature, can be good and bad, and this malice, most of the times is only a mask that hides a very sensible, easy to hurt soul.
But maybe Beauty understood her role from the first moment she looked into the Beasts eyes.
joi, 17 septembrie 2009
Voi fi intotdeauna cu tine / I will always be with you
Am citit urmatoarele randuri pe blogul lui Cabral (cabral.ro) si ma tot gandesc la ele de atunci. Vai, cata dreptate poate avea! Oare de ce ma regasesc in ele?
***
Prima clipa, prima discutie in care ii simti respiratia alunecandu-ti pe piept, prima privire in suflet, primele vorbe… primele minciuni.
Suna dur “minciuni“, stiu, dar… hai sa incercam sa privim cu sinceritate. Ce stii, in acel moment despre ea? Cat de bine-l cunosti? Cat de bine te cunosti tu in relatia aia, foarte proaspata, cat de bine va cunoasteti chimia, pe ce-ti bazezi promisiunea aia?
- Te iubesc, voi fi intotdeauna cu tine!
- Esti sigur?
- Mai sigur decat orice pe lumea asta!
Da, sigur! Ce stii in acel moment? C-o iubesti, ca te face sa te simti asa cum nu te-ai mai simtit, parca, niciodata! Te face sa simti ca il adori, astepti cu nerabdare fluturasii din stomac, caci ti-i da, mai ales atunci cand te saruta si te priveste cu privirea aia, aia speciala, care te face sa te simti cea mai frumoasa creatie a lumii… Asta stii, pe asta te poti baza. Dar, acest mic nimic iti conteaza in respectivul moment infim al vietii tale mai mult decat ce va sa fie si de doua ori decat tot ce-a fost…
- Ce-ti doresti de la viata asta?
- Pe tine, numai pe tine, acum, maine, pentru totdeauna… tu!
Asa ne incepem relatiile, mai mult sau mai putin cu minciuna asta, sau una vecina ei, promitem lucruri mari, ne promitem noua ca vom fi mai buni, altfel, ca nu vom repeta greselile trecutului… ca vom iubi atat de frumos incat povestea asta nu se va termina vreodata.
Dar uitam, caci suntem oameni, ca am promis fix acelasi lucru intr-o anumita relatie ce a trecut. La fel am zis, “Intotdeauna cu tine…!“, dar n-a fost asa, ne-am despartit, am uitat – sau nu – am mers mai departe si… acum iubim din nou.
Cand am mintit, atunci sau acum? Ne-am proiectat si atunci umbrele de indragostiti pe peretele de fum al unui viitor care astazi e realitate, si pe peretele ala ne vedeam atunci “Intotdeauna impreuna.”. Numai ca umbrele indragostitilor s-au schimbat, una dintre siluete a disparut, acum e alta, si in acelasi fel de imbratisare ne proiectam din nou intr-un promis “Intotdeauna cu tine!“.
Am mintit atunci? Mintim acum din nou? Am mintit de fiecare data?
Caci, cum facem, vom alege sa fim in continuare, in continuarea acelei minciuni, alaturi de fostul? Riscam asa sa ne erodam prezentul sau lasam minciuna aia deoparte si ii zambim ingaduitori asteia noi?
De ce nu spunem “Azi impreuna!” si facem in asa fel incat sa ne tinem de cuvant cat mai frumos posibil?
**********
I’ve read the next lines on Cabral’s blog (cabral.ro) and I’m thinking and thinking about them since then. Wow, he is so right! Why do I find myself in them?
***
First moment, first conversation when you feel your breath on your chest, first look into the soul, first words... first lies.
Sounds harsh „lies”, I know, but ... let’s try to look at this with honesty. What do you know about her in that moment? How well do you know him? How well do you know yourself in that relationship, so fresh, how well do you know the chemistry of you two, what reason you have to make that promise?
- I love you; I will always be with you!
- Are you sure?
- Surer then anything else!
Yeah, sure! What do you know in that moment? That you love her, that she makes you feel like you, maybe, never felt before! He makes you feel like you adore him, you’re waiting impatiently for the stomach butterflies, because you get those from him, mostly when he kisses you and he looks at you with that look, that special one, which makes you feel the most beautiful creation in the world. This is what you know, you can count on this. But, this tiny nothing counts in this little moment of your life more then what will be and twice more then what was…
- What do you want from this life?
- You, only you, now, tomorrow, always… you!
This is how we start our relations, more or less with this lie, or with one close to it, we promise big things, we promise to ourselves that we are going to be better, different, that we are not going to repeat the mistakes from the past… that we will love so beautiful that the story will never end.
Because we are human we forget that we promised the same thing in a previous relation. We said the same thing “always with you…!”, but it wasn’t like that, we broke up, we forgot – or we didn’t – we moved forward and… now we love again.
When did we lie, then or now? Then we projected our lovers’ shadows on the smoke wall of a future that today became reality, and on that wall we used to see us “always together”. Only that the lovers shadows have changed, one of the silhouettes disappeared, now there is a new one, and in the same embrace we project ourselves again in a new promised “always with you”.
Did we lie then? Are we lying now, again? Did we lie every time?
But what are we going to do; we are going to stay in that lie, by the ex’s side? Do we risk eroding away the present or we are going to leave that lie aside and kindly smile to this new one?
Why aren’t we saying “today together” and trying to keep our word the best way possible?
***
Prima clipa, prima discutie in care ii simti respiratia alunecandu-ti pe piept, prima privire in suflet, primele vorbe… primele minciuni.
Suna dur “minciuni“, stiu, dar… hai sa incercam sa privim cu sinceritate. Ce stii, in acel moment despre ea? Cat de bine-l cunosti? Cat de bine te cunosti tu in relatia aia, foarte proaspata, cat de bine va cunoasteti chimia, pe ce-ti bazezi promisiunea aia?
- Te iubesc, voi fi intotdeauna cu tine!
- Esti sigur?
- Mai sigur decat orice pe lumea asta!
Da, sigur! Ce stii in acel moment? C-o iubesti, ca te face sa te simti asa cum nu te-ai mai simtit, parca, niciodata! Te face sa simti ca il adori, astepti cu nerabdare fluturasii din stomac, caci ti-i da, mai ales atunci cand te saruta si te priveste cu privirea aia, aia speciala, care te face sa te simti cea mai frumoasa creatie a lumii… Asta stii, pe asta te poti baza. Dar, acest mic nimic iti conteaza in respectivul moment infim al vietii tale mai mult decat ce va sa fie si de doua ori decat tot ce-a fost…
- Ce-ti doresti de la viata asta?
- Pe tine, numai pe tine, acum, maine, pentru totdeauna… tu!
Asa ne incepem relatiile, mai mult sau mai putin cu minciuna asta, sau una vecina ei, promitem lucruri mari, ne promitem noua ca vom fi mai buni, altfel, ca nu vom repeta greselile trecutului… ca vom iubi atat de frumos incat povestea asta nu se va termina vreodata.
Dar uitam, caci suntem oameni, ca am promis fix acelasi lucru intr-o anumita relatie ce a trecut. La fel am zis, “Intotdeauna cu tine…!“, dar n-a fost asa, ne-am despartit, am uitat – sau nu – am mers mai departe si… acum iubim din nou.
Cand am mintit, atunci sau acum? Ne-am proiectat si atunci umbrele de indragostiti pe peretele de fum al unui viitor care astazi e realitate, si pe peretele ala ne vedeam atunci “Intotdeauna impreuna.”. Numai ca umbrele indragostitilor s-au schimbat, una dintre siluete a disparut, acum e alta, si in acelasi fel de imbratisare ne proiectam din nou intr-un promis “Intotdeauna cu tine!“.
Am mintit atunci? Mintim acum din nou? Am mintit de fiecare data?
Caci, cum facem, vom alege sa fim in continuare, in continuarea acelei minciuni, alaturi de fostul? Riscam asa sa ne erodam prezentul sau lasam minciuna aia deoparte si ii zambim ingaduitori asteia noi?
De ce nu spunem “Azi impreuna!” si facem in asa fel incat sa ne tinem de cuvant cat mai frumos posibil?
**********
I’ve read the next lines on Cabral’s blog (cabral.ro) and I’m thinking and thinking about them since then. Wow, he is so right! Why do I find myself in them?
***
First moment, first conversation when you feel your breath on your chest, first look into the soul, first words... first lies.
Sounds harsh „lies”, I know, but ... let’s try to look at this with honesty. What do you know about her in that moment? How well do you know him? How well do you know yourself in that relationship, so fresh, how well do you know the chemistry of you two, what reason you have to make that promise?
- I love you; I will always be with you!
- Are you sure?
- Surer then anything else!
Yeah, sure! What do you know in that moment? That you love her, that she makes you feel like you, maybe, never felt before! He makes you feel like you adore him, you’re waiting impatiently for the stomach butterflies, because you get those from him, mostly when he kisses you and he looks at you with that look, that special one, which makes you feel the most beautiful creation in the world. This is what you know, you can count on this. But, this tiny nothing counts in this little moment of your life more then what will be and twice more then what was…
- What do you want from this life?
- You, only you, now, tomorrow, always… you!
This is how we start our relations, more or less with this lie, or with one close to it, we promise big things, we promise to ourselves that we are going to be better, different, that we are not going to repeat the mistakes from the past… that we will love so beautiful that the story will never end.
Because we are human we forget that we promised the same thing in a previous relation. We said the same thing “always with you…!”, but it wasn’t like that, we broke up, we forgot – or we didn’t – we moved forward and… now we love again.
When did we lie, then or now? Then we projected our lovers’ shadows on the smoke wall of a future that today became reality, and on that wall we used to see us “always together”. Only that the lovers shadows have changed, one of the silhouettes disappeared, now there is a new one, and in the same embrace we project ourselves again in a new promised “always with you”.
Did we lie then? Are we lying now, again? Did we lie every time?
But what are we going to do; we are going to stay in that lie, by the ex’s side? Do we risk eroding away the present or we are going to leave that lie aside and kindly smile to this new one?
Why aren’t we saying “today together” and trying to keep our word the best way possible?
luni, 22 iunie 2009
Cine suntem? / Who are we?
Am considerat totdeauna ca oamenii trebuie sa dovedeasca ca sunt oameni, adica sa adopte un comportament adecvat, care sa-i deosebeasca de celelalte vietuitoare. Multi dintre noi, insa, tin mortis sa ne arate, in repetate randuri, ca ei au fost, sunt si vor fi doar animale (sau mai rau - bestii), nu oameni, nu umani.
Ce inseamna sa fii uman? Pentru mine inseamna sa gandesti, apoi sa actionezi in consecinta, inseamna sa respecti libertatea celuilalt, sa arati generozitate, compasiune, emotie fata de cel de langa tine.
Ce inseamna sa fii om? Eu zic ca inseamna sa ai caracter, personalitate, principii sanatoase si morala.
Realizez, insa, ca vorbesc aici despre o specie pe cale de disparitie.
Concluzia nr. 1: "Salvati umanitatea (sau ce a mai ramas din ea)!"
Concluzia nr. 2: "Nu se mai fac oameni cum se faceau odata!"
***
I always considered that people must prove they are human, that they have to adopt an appropriate behavior, to differentiate them from all the other creatures. But many of us keep showing, repeatedly, that they were, are and will always be only animals (or worse - beasts), not people, not human.
What it means to be human? For me it means to think, and then act accordingly, it means you have to respect other's freedom, to show generosity, compassion, emotion for the one next to you.
What it means to be human? I say it means to have character, personality, healthy principles and moral.
I realize, though, that I’m talking here about an endangered species.
Conclusion no. 1: "Save humanity (or what was left of it)!"
Conclusion no. 2: "They no longer make people like they used to!"
Ce inseamna sa fii uman? Pentru mine inseamna sa gandesti, apoi sa actionezi in consecinta, inseamna sa respecti libertatea celuilalt, sa arati generozitate, compasiune, emotie fata de cel de langa tine.
Ce inseamna sa fii om? Eu zic ca inseamna sa ai caracter, personalitate, principii sanatoase si morala.
Realizez, insa, ca vorbesc aici despre o specie pe cale de disparitie.
Concluzia nr. 1: "Salvati umanitatea (sau ce a mai ramas din ea)!"
Concluzia nr. 2: "Nu se mai fac oameni cum se faceau odata!"
***
I always considered that people must prove they are human, that they have to adopt an appropriate behavior, to differentiate them from all the other creatures. But many of us keep showing, repeatedly, that they were, are and will always be only animals (or worse - beasts), not people, not human.
What it means to be human? For me it means to think, and then act accordingly, it means you have to respect other's freedom, to show generosity, compassion, emotion for the one next to you.
What it means to be human? I say it means to have character, personality, healthy principles and moral.
I realize, though, that I’m talking here about an endangered species.
Conclusion no. 1: "Save humanity (or what was left of it)!"
Conclusion no. 2: "They no longer make people like they used to!"
luni, 15 iunie 2009
Desertaciune I / Emptiness I
This is the world in which we live.
A realistic video, a piece of life; lyrics that came from the soul: VAMA - God does not appear on the news.
God does not appear on the news
God does not kill dolphins
God does not melt glaciers
God hasn’t voteed in the Senate
God has no nuclear dream
God has not fought in Iraq
Too busy destroying the world people are
No one bothers about God here on Earth
Ref: God has left us...
He let us to do whatever we want
They made Jesus a Superstar
They have printed God on the U.S. dollars
Religion is war marketing
People make their cross but with an empty look
Ref: God has left us...
He let us to do whatever we want
Without faith the human ship is lost in space; the storm is approaching,
The world is darkening
Everything is for sale, everything can be bought; money are the way, the truth and the life
Jesus is not coming ....
God is looking once again at the world
There is no one to see that
He is lending us a hand
There is no one there to hear the love whisper
He still says to us?
Ref: God has left us...
He let us to do whatever we want
God has watched...
He doesn’t understand wher he did wrong
God has watched...
He watched...
***
Aceasta este lumea in care traim.
Videoclip realist, rupt din viata; versuri de suflet cu care rezonez: Vama - Dumnezeu nu apare la stiri.
Dumnezeu nu apare la Stiri
Dumnezeu nu omoara Delfini
Dumnezeu n-are Vis Nuclear
Dumnezeu nu topeste Ghetari
Dumnezeu n-a votat in Senat
Dumnezeu n-a luptat in Irak
Prea ocupati cu distrugerea lumii oamenii sunt
Pe Dumnezeu nu-l ia nimeni in seama aici pe Pamant.
Ref:Dumnezeu ne-a lasat...
Ne-a lasat sa ne facem de cap
Pe Iisus l-au facut Superstar
Pe Dumnezeu l-au tiparit pe dolar
Religia e marketing de razboi
Oamenii-si fac cruce dar privesc in gol
Ref:Dumnezeu ne-a lasat...
Ne-a lasat sa ne facem de cap
Fara Credinta corabia Umana rataceste prin spatiu se apropie furtuna,
Se-ntuneca lumea
Totul se vinde se cumpara totul banii sunt calea adevarul si viata Isus nu mai vine....
Dumnezeu se mai uita o data spre lume
Nu e nimeni sa vada ca-ntinde o mana
Nu e nimeni s-auda ca soapta iubirii El inca ne-o spune?
Ref: Dumnezeu ne-a lasat...
Ne-a lasat sa ne facem de cap
Dumnezeu a privit...
Nu-ntelege unde a gresit
Dumnezeu a privit...
A privit...
vineri, 5 iunie 2009
Despre IUBIRE in multe feluri / About LOVE in many ways
Nu stiu cum se face ca toata lumea in jurul meu se casatoreste. Am o gramada de prieteni si cunostinte care fac nunta anul acesta sau la anu. O fi un virus nou pe piata sau a devenit casnicia un trend? Din cate imi amintesc eu, pe la noi rata divorturilor e din ce in ce mai mare, de la an la an. Nu ca as dori eu sa li se intample asa ceva... Oricum, meditez si eu asupra acestui sentiment care ne innebuneste pe toti: IUBIREA. Si am ajuns la cateva concluzii.
- Iubirea nu raneste. Ea nu se exprima prin violenta si nu aduce suferinta. Cand iubesti nu il ranesti pe cel de langa tine in nici un fel, mai ales fizic. Dragostea este o relatie de la egal la egal, nu de genul stapan – sclav. In dragoste suntem parteneri, colaboratori. Dar cate neveste nu sunt batute sau amenintate zilnic in tara nostra...
- Iubirea nu omoara. Daca te gandesti cum sa-l faci pe cel de langa tine sa dispara inseamna ori ca esti nebun, ori ca ai ajuns la capatul puterilor. Oricum e clar ca aici nu mai e vorba de iubire. Solutia cea mai buna e divortul, despartirea definitiva. Era la stiri, intr-o zi un caz: el i-a pus sotiei mercur in tigara. Oamenii din ziua de azi ma ingrozesc.
- Iubirea este respect. Daca nu il respecti pe cel de langa tine, daca nu il admiri pentru omul care este atunci nu ai ce cauta langa el. In trecut, cand tinerii erau casatoriti fara a se cunoaste (si pe la noi se practica obiceiul acesta), respectul era baza casniciei, iubirea venea mai tarziu, daca venea, iar casnicia dura o viata intreaga.
- Iubirea este sacrificiu. Cand iubesti esti dispus sa lasi totul pentru a fi alaturi de celalalt, sa-ti parasesti job-ul, familia, casa, tara, religia, sa te schimbi cu totul, sa devii un om nou, mai bun, mai frumos.
- Iubirea nu inseamna mila. Daca te intrebi „oare ce va face fara mine, cum se va descurca, cine ii va gati, cine il/o va ingriji” nu inseamna ca il iubesti pe celalalt, ci ca esti constient ca partenerul e dependent de tine. Dar asta nu e iubire. Iubire este atunci cand stai langa celalalt indiferent de dizabilitatile sale, pentru ca iti simti sufletul plin doar alaturi de el. Iubire este atunci cand, desi o viata sexuala normala e imposibila, gasesti metode prin care cuplul sa se reinventeze, atat afectiv cat si sexual.
- Iubirea nu pune bariere. Daca te iubeste nu iti va cere niciodata sa faci ceva ce nu iti place, sa te desparti de cei pe care ii iubesti, sa-ti schimbi stilul de viata. Vei face toate astea doar daca vrei, daca consideri ca e necesar. Iubirea nu inseamna „nu ai voie”, ci „totul este permis”.
- Iubirea nu minte, nu inseala. In dragoste e loc doar pentru sinceritate, adevar, fidelitate. Oricine se abate de la acestea trei inseamna ca nu are principii si nu merita.
- Iubirea este incredere. Trebuie sa-l crezi pe celalalt inca dinainte de a-l cunoaste cu adevarat, chiar daca stii ca e posibil sa te inseli, sa suferi. Nu e bine sa lasam loc interpretarii, suspiciunii. Daca suntem sinceri vom castiga increderea partenerului si, in acest fel, inlaturam dusmanul cel mai important: gelozia.
- Iubirea inseamna rabdare. Oamenii nu sunt perfecti, dar sunt dispusi sa se schimbe din dragoste. Nu trebuie decat sa avem rabdare, sa le dam timp ca ei sa-si inlature defectele si sa-si multiplice calitatile. Cand iubesti il astepti pe celalalt sa vina la tine, sa vina atunci cand e sigur ca aceasta este alegerea corecta, cand este el pregatit.
....
I don’t know how come everyone around me is getting married. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who are having their wedding this year or next year. Is it a virus or getting married became a trend? From what I remember, here the rate of divorces is increasing from year to year. Not that I would want something like this to happen to them... Anyway, I reflect on this feeling that gets us all crazy: LOVE. And I came to several conclusions.
- Love does not hurt. It is not expressed trough violence and it does not bring suffering. When you love you do not hurt the one near you in any way, especially physically. Love is a relationship between equals, not like master - slave. In love we are partners, collaborators. But how many wives are not threatened or beaten daily in our country...
- Love does not kill. If you think about how to make the one next to you disappear means you're either crazy or you got tired out. However, is clear that here is not about love. The best solution is divorce, final break-up. It was on the news this event: he put mercury in his wife’s cigarette. People today terrify me.
- Love is respect. If you disrespect the guy next to you, if you do not admire him then what are you still doing with him. In the past, when young people were getting married without meeting before (we used to practice this here too), respect was the bases of the marriage, love came later, if it came, and the marriage lasted a lifetime.
- Love is sacrifice. When you love you are willing to leave everything to be next to the one you desire, you leave your job, family, home, country, religion, to change completely, to become a new person, better, more beautiful.
- Love is not mercy. If you ask "what will he do without me, how will he manage, who will do the cooking, who will take care of him" does not mean that you love the other, it only means you're aware that your partner is dependent on you. But that's not love. Love is when you sit next to him regardless of his disability, because you feel fulfilled only beside him. Love is when, although a normal sexual life is impossible, the couple finds ways to reinvent both emotional and sexual.
- Love does not put barriers. If he loves you he will never ask you to do something that you don’t want to like to leave the people you love, to change your lifestyle. You will do this only if you want to, if you consider it necessary. Love does not mean "you cannot” but "everything is allowed".
- Love is not lying or cheating. In love there is place only for sincerity, truth, fidelity. Whoever deviates from this three means that they don’t have principles and are not worth it.
- Love is trust. You got to believe your partner even before knowing the real him, even if you know it's possible to be wrong, to suffer. It’s not good to leave space for interpretation, suspicion. If we are honest we will win the trust of our partners and, thus, remove the most important enemy: jealousy.
- Love is patient. People are not perfect, but are willing to change for love. We should just have patience, to give them time to eliminate their defects and multiply their qualities. When you love you will wait for the other one to come to you, to come when he is sure that he made the right choice, when he is ready.
- Iubirea nu raneste. Ea nu se exprima prin violenta si nu aduce suferinta. Cand iubesti nu il ranesti pe cel de langa tine in nici un fel, mai ales fizic. Dragostea este o relatie de la egal la egal, nu de genul stapan – sclav. In dragoste suntem parteneri, colaboratori. Dar cate neveste nu sunt batute sau amenintate zilnic in tara nostra...
- Iubirea nu omoara. Daca te gandesti cum sa-l faci pe cel de langa tine sa dispara inseamna ori ca esti nebun, ori ca ai ajuns la capatul puterilor. Oricum e clar ca aici nu mai e vorba de iubire. Solutia cea mai buna e divortul, despartirea definitiva. Era la stiri, intr-o zi un caz: el i-a pus sotiei mercur in tigara. Oamenii din ziua de azi ma ingrozesc.
- Iubirea este respect. Daca nu il respecti pe cel de langa tine, daca nu il admiri pentru omul care este atunci nu ai ce cauta langa el. In trecut, cand tinerii erau casatoriti fara a se cunoaste (si pe la noi se practica obiceiul acesta), respectul era baza casniciei, iubirea venea mai tarziu, daca venea, iar casnicia dura o viata intreaga.
- Iubirea este sacrificiu. Cand iubesti esti dispus sa lasi totul pentru a fi alaturi de celalalt, sa-ti parasesti job-ul, familia, casa, tara, religia, sa te schimbi cu totul, sa devii un om nou, mai bun, mai frumos.
- Iubirea nu inseamna mila. Daca te intrebi „oare ce va face fara mine, cum se va descurca, cine ii va gati, cine il/o va ingriji” nu inseamna ca il iubesti pe celalalt, ci ca esti constient ca partenerul e dependent de tine. Dar asta nu e iubire. Iubire este atunci cand stai langa celalalt indiferent de dizabilitatile sale, pentru ca iti simti sufletul plin doar alaturi de el. Iubire este atunci cand, desi o viata sexuala normala e imposibila, gasesti metode prin care cuplul sa se reinventeze, atat afectiv cat si sexual.
- Iubirea nu pune bariere. Daca te iubeste nu iti va cere niciodata sa faci ceva ce nu iti place, sa te desparti de cei pe care ii iubesti, sa-ti schimbi stilul de viata. Vei face toate astea doar daca vrei, daca consideri ca e necesar. Iubirea nu inseamna „nu ai voie”, ci „totul este permis”.
- Iubirea nu minte, nu inseala. In dragoste e loc doar pentru sinceritate, adevar, fidelitate. Oricine se abate de la acestea trei inseamna ca nu are principii si nu merita.
- Iubirea este incredere. Trebuie sa-l crezi pe celalalt inca dinainte de a-l cunoaste cu adevarat, chiar daca stii ca e posibil sa te inseli, sa suferi. Nu e bine sa lasam loc interpretarii, suspiciunii. Daca suntem sinceri vom castiga increderea partenerului si, in acest fel, inlaturam dusmanul cel mai important: gelozia.
- Iubirea inseamna rabdare. Oamenii nu sunt perfecti, dar sunt dispusi sa se schimbe din dragoste. Nu trebuie decat sa avem rabdare, sa le dam timp ca ei sa-si inlature defectele si sa-si multiplice calitatile. Cand iubesti il astepti pe celalalt sa vina la tine, sa vina atunci cand e sigur ca aceasta este alegerea corecta, cand este el pregatit.
....
I don’t know how come everyone around me is getting married. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who are having their wedding this year or next year. Is it a virus or getting married became a trend? From what I remember, here the rate of divorces is increasing from year to year. Not that I would want something like this to happen to them... Anyway, I reflect on this feeling that gets us all crazy: LOVE. And I came to several conclusions.
- Love does not hurt. It is not expressed trough violence and it does not bring suffering. When you love you do not hurt the one near you in any way, especially physically. Love is a relationship between equals, not like master - slave. In love we are partners, collaborators. But how many wives are not threatened or beaten daily in our country...
- Love does not kill. If you think about how to make the one next to you disappear means you're either crazy or you got tired out. However, is clear that here is not about love. The best solution is divorce, final break-up. It was on the news this event: he put mercury in his wife’s cigarette. People today terrify me.
- Love is respect. If you disrespect the guy next to you, if you do not admire him then what are you still doing with him. In the past, when young people were getting married without meeting before (we used to practice this here too), respect was the bases of the marriage, love came later, if it came, and the marriage lasted a lifetime.
- Love is sacrifice. When you love you are willing to leave everything to be next to the one you desire, you leave your job, family, home, country, religion, to change completely, to become a new person, better, more beautiful.
- Love is not mercy. If you ask "what will he do without me, how will he manage, who will do the cooking, who will take care of him" does not mean that you love the other, it only means you're aware that your partner is dependent on you. But that's not love. Love is when you sit next to him regardless of his disability, because you feel fulfilled only beside him. Love is when, although a normal sexual life is impossible, the couple finds ways to reinvent both emotional and sexual.
- Love does not put barriers. If he loves you he will never ask you to do something that you don’t want to like to leave the people you love, to change your lifestyle. You will do this only if you want to, if you consider it necessary. Love does not mean "you cannot” but "everything is allowed".
- Love is not lying or cheating. In love there is place only for sincerity, truth, fidelity. Whoever deviates from this three means that they don’t have principles and are not worth it.
- Love is trust. You got to believe your partner even before knowing the real him, even if you know it's possible to be wrong, to suffer. It’s not good to leave space for interpretation, suspicion. If we are honest we will win the trust of our partners and, thus, remove the most important enemy: jealousy.
- Love is patient. People are not perfect, but are willing to change for love. We should just have patience, to give them time to eliminate their defects and multiply their qualities. When you love you will wait for the other one to come to you, to come when he is sure that he made the right choice, when he is ready.
marți, 5 mai 2009
Barajul Paltinu / Paltinu Dam
Ne tot batea gandul, pe mine si niste prieteni, sa mai iesim si noi la o plimbare prin judet, asa ca ne-am gandit sa dam o fuga pana la Paltinu sa vedem si noi cum e pe acolo. Si nu, nu am fost la un gratar, asa cum ii e obiceiul romanului de rand, ci doar in excursie.E frumoasa zona, pacat insa ca nu ai voie sa te si plimbi pe baraj. Ce sa vezi: portile inchise cu un mare semn "Interzisa trecerea" pe ele! Eh! Mi-am pus pofta in cui si m-am multumit cu peisajul vazut "de pe margine". Insa si mai interesant a fost sa vad lacul de acumulare. Dar nu intinderea aceea nesfarsita de apa mi-a starnit mie dorinta de a va povesti aici despre barajul Paltinu, ci intinderea aceea nesfarsita de gunoaie care pluteau la malul lacului. Si, pentru cei care nu stiu, va informez ca din acest lac se alimenteaza orasul Ploiesti cu apa potabila. Acum se intelege de ce apa noastra de la robinet miroase si are un gust iritant de clor.
Concluzii: 1. e absolut necesar sa trecem la apa imbuteliata 2. daca am arunca cat mai putine gunoaie in natura ar fi ideal, doar pentru asta s-au inventat cosurile de gunoi, nu? 3. desi e bine cunoscut faptul ca sunt gunoaie peste tot, nu e nimeni platit sa le si stranga 4. pana la urma romanul face tot ce stie el: gratar in locuri neamenajate si gunoiul aruncat in padure (ca doar serveste ca ingrasamant natural, nu?)
Pacat de tara asta frumoasa!
...
Some friends and I were thinking to get out on a walk in our county, so we thought we should go to Paltinu to see how are things there. And no, we were not out on a barbecue, the new national custom of Romanians, only on a trip.
It’s a beautiful area, pity that one can’t walk on the damn. What was there to see: closed gates with a big sign “no trespassing” on. So I forgot about it and I contented in watching the scenery “from aside”. But even more interesting was to see the barrier lake. However, not the endless water spread roused in me the wish to tell you about the Paltinu dam, but the endless garbage spread floating at the shore. And, for those that don’t know, I’m telling you that this lake is supplying Ploiesti city with drinkable water. Now we can understand why our running water smells and tastes irritating of chlorine.
Conclusions: 1. it’s imperative that we start drinking only bottled water 2. ideal would be for us to drop less garbage in the nature, they invented the garbage cans for this, no? 3. although it is well known that there is garbage everywhere around, there is no one paid to gather it 4. in the end the Romanian does what he knows best: barbecue in unfit places and throwing garbage in the woods (because it’s natural fertilizer, isn’t it?).
Pity of this beautiful country!
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