Nu stiu cum se face ca toata lumea in jurul meu se casatoreste. Am o gramada de prieteni si cunostinte care fac nunta anul acesta sau la anu. O fi un virus nou pe piata sau a devenit casnicia un trend? Din cate imi amintesc eu, pe la noi rata divorturilor e din ce in ce mai mare, de la an la an. Nu ca as dori eu sa li se intample asa ceva... Oricum, meditez si eu asupra acestui sentiment care ne innebuneste pe toti: IUBIREA. Si am ajuns la cateva concluzii.
- Iubirea nu raneste. Ea nu se exprima prin violenta si nu aduce suferinta. Cand iubesti nu il ranesti pe cel de langa tine in nici un fel, mai ales fizic. Dragostea este o relatie de la egal la egal, nu de genul stapan – sclav. In dragoste suntem parteneri, colaboratori. Dar cate neveste nu sunt batute sau amenintate zilnic in tara nostra...
- Iubirea nu omoara. Daca te gandesti cum sa-l faci pe cel de langa tine sa dispara inseamna ori ca esti nebun, ori ca ai ajuns la capatul puterilor. Oricum e clar ca aici nu mai e vorba de iubire. Solutia cea mai buna e divortul, despartirea definitiva. Era la stiri, intr-o zi un caz: el i-a pus sotiei mercur in tigara. Oamenii din ziua de azi ma ingrozesc.
- Iubirea este respect. Daca nu il respecti pe cel de langa tine, daca nu il admiri pentru omul care este atunci nu ai ce cauta langa el. In trecut, cand tinerii erau casatoriti fara a se cunoaste (si pe la noi se practica obiceiul acesta), respectul era baza casniciei, iubirea venea mai tarziu, daca venea, iar casnicia dura o viata intreaga.
- Iubirea este sacrificiu. Cand iubesti esti dispus sa lasi totul pentru a fi alaturi de celalalt, sa-ti parasesti job-ul, familia, casa, tara, religia, sa te schimbi cu totul, sa devii un om nou, mai bun, mai frumos.
- Iubirea nu inseamna mila. Daca te intrebi „oare ce va face fara mine, cum se va descurca, cine ii va gati, cine il/o va ingriji” nu inseamna ca il iubesti pe celalalt, ci ca esti constient ca partenerul e dependent de tine. Dar asta nu e iubire. Iubire este atunci cand stai langa celalalt indiferent de dizabilitatile sale, pentru ca iti simti sufletul plin doar alaturi de el. Iubire este atunci cand, desi o viata sexuala normala e imposibila, gasesti metode prin care cuplul sa se reinventeze, atat afectiv cat si sexual.
- Iubirea nu pune bariere. Daca te iubeste nu iti va cere niciodata sa faci ceva ce nu iti place, sa te desparti de cei pe care ii iubesti, sa-ti schimbi stilul de viata. Vei face toate astea doar daca vrei, daca consideri ca e necesar. Iubirea nu inseamna „nu ai voie”, ci „totul este permis”.
- Iubirea nu minte, nu inseala. In dragoste e loc doar pentru sinceritate, adevar, fidelitate. Oricine se abate de la acestea trei inseamna ca nu are principii si nu merita.
- Iubirea este incredere. Trebuie sa-l crezi pe celalalt inca dinainte de a-l cunoaste cu adevarat, chiar daca stii ca e posibil sa te inseli, sa suferi. Nu e bine sa lasam loc interpretarii, suspiciunii. Daca suntem sinceri vom castiga increderea partenerului si, in acest fel, inlaturam dusmanul cel mai important: gelozia.
- Iubirea inseamna rabdare. Oamenii nu sunt perfecti, dar sunt dispusi sa se schimbe din dragoste. Nu trebuie decat sa avem rabdare, sa le dam timp ca ei sa-si inlature defectele si sa-si multiplice calitatile. Cand iubesti il astepti pe celalalt sa vina la tine, sa vina atunci cand e sigur ca aceasta este alegerea corecta, cand este el pregatit.
....
I don’t know how come everyone around me is getting married. I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who are having their wedding this year or next year. Is it a virus or getting married became a trend? From what I remember, here the rate of divorces is increasing from year to year. Not that I would want something like this to happen to them... Anyway, I reflect on this feeling that gets us all crazy: LOVE. And I came to several conclusions.
- Love does not hurt. It is not expressed trough violence and it does not bring suffering. When you love you do not hurt the one near you in any way, especially physically. Love is a relationship between equals, not like master - slave. In love we are partners, collaborators. But how many wives are not threatened or beaten daily in our country...
- Love does not kill. If you think about how to make the one next to you disappear means you're either crazy or you got tired out. However, is clear that here is not about love. The best solution is divorce, final break-up. It was on the news this event: he put mercury in his wife’s cigarette. People today terrify me.
- Love is respect. If you disrespect the guy next to you, if you do not admire him then what are you still doing with him. In the past, when young people were getting married without meeting before (we used to practice this here too), respect was the bases of the marriage, love came later, if it came, and the marriage lasted a lifetime.
- Love is sacrifice. When you love you are willing to leave everything to be next to the one you desire, you leave your job, family, home, country, religion, to change completely, to become a new person, better, more beautiful.
- Love is not mercy. If you ask "what will he do without me, how will he manage, who will do the cooking, who will take care of him" does not mean that you love the other, it only means you're aware that your partner is dependent on you. But that's not love. Love is when you sit next to him regardless of his disability, because you feel fulfilled only beside him. Love is when, although a normal sexual life is impossible, the couple finds ways to reinvent both emotional and sexual.
- Love does not put barriers. If he loves you he will never ask you to do something that you don’t want to like to leave the people you love, to change your lifestyle. You will do this only if you want to, if you consider it necessary. Love does not mean "you cannot” but "everything is allowed".
- Love is not lying or cheating. In love there is place only for sincerity, truth, fidelity. Whoever deviates from this three means that they don’t have principles and are not worth it.
- Love is trust. You got to believe your partner even before knowing the real him, even if you know it's possible to be wrong, to suffer. It’s not good to leave space for interpretation, suspicion. If we are honest we will win the trust of our partners and, thus, remove the most important enemy: jealousy.
- Love is patient. People are not perfect, but are willing to change for love. We should just have patience, to give them time to eliminate their defects and multiply their qualities. When you love you will wait for the other one to come to you, to come when he is sure that he made the right choice, when he is ready.
Niciun comentariu:
Trimiteți un comentariu