3+1 gift ... Happy nameday to me!

It's St. Andrew today. Happy nameday to all of you. May all your wishes come true.

And for me ... well, one wish came true. I will wait and see if others will also come true.

3+1 gift means what? It means I’m dedicating 3 songs to myself and one to you.

1. Sade - Cherish the day

Lyrics: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/s/sade/cherish_the_day.html



2. Marius Mihalache - Bordeias (Little hovel). This romanian song always makes me think about home and the people I love.



3. Melina Leon - Que sera de ti (What will be of you). This song is part of the O Clone Soundtrack, the video also is from the brasilian novela.

Spanish lyrics:http://www.lyricsdownload.com/leon-melina-que-sera-de-ti-lyrics.html



4. Amr Diab - Tamally Maak (Always with you). This one is for you because I really like the melody and the lyrics.

Arab lyrics: http://www.lyricsdownload.com/amr-diab-tamally-maak-lyrics.html

English lyrics:http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858557928/

Marasesti - Pe aici nu se trece / Marasesti - Can't pass through here

Marasesti, Marasti, Oituz... Nu. De data asta doar Marasesti.

Razboiul de Intregire Nationala a facut ca la Marasesti sa piara peste 21 de mii de romani. Tot ceea ce ne mai aminteste de glorioasa lupta din vara anului 1917 este Mausoleul de la Marasesti, ridicat chiar pe locul unde s-au dat luptele. 18 culoare dispuse radial, 154 de cripte individuale, 9 cripte comune, o bisericuta asezata chiar in centrul constructiei si inscriptia UN OSTAS ROMAN raman cu mine dupa ce am vizitat ieri acest somptuos monument.

Cinste lor, celor care s-au jertfit pentru aceasta tara minunata, pentru acest pamant care ne-a ocrotit inca de pe vremea cand purta numele Dacia. Dumnezeu sa-i ierte!

***

Marasesti, Marasti, Oituz... No. This time only Marasesti.

The War of National Union made it possible for 21 thousands of Romanians to perish at Marasesti. The Marasesti Mausoleum, built right on the spot where the fight took place, reminds us of the glorious fights from the summer of 1917. What stays with me after visiting this magnificent monument are the 18 halls arranged in a circle, the 154 individual crypts, the 9 commune crypts, the church placed right in the middle of the building and the inscriptions A ROMANIAN SOLDIER.

Let's honor those who sacrificed themselves for this wonderful country, for this land that protected us ever since it was called Dacia. May God forgive them!

Selfadvices / Autosfaturi

I was looking tonight over some of my writings and I found something that I like very much:

„Time heals wounds, but the scars remain and sometimes, when we face „bad weather”, they hurt. Time has his limits.”

There are many poems written by me, even prose, which make me feel in a certain way when I read them and not because they are mine or they are very good, but because they remind me of myself in that period. It’s like I can see myself then, when I had those feelings that made me lay everything on paper. I feel a stranger to some of them, probably because I’ve changed, but I can find myself in others. I don’t consider myself as being a poet or a writer. When I write I do it only because I feel like it, to free myself from my many thoughts. And sometimes I surprise myself because I am giving to me answers, encouragement and advices trough my writings.
But I better leave all the talking to my lines:

“Nothing it’s easy in this life. A lot of effort, a lot of waiting, pain and suffering are needed. We have to give everything, everything we got and everything we are for one cause, for what we want the most, for a dream without which we could not go forward.”

“I am a fighter. I’m not afraid of anything…”

“I’ve chosen. I will remain innocent. I will be a child hidden in a mask. And you will be deceived, because I will see the CHILD and you will see the MASK.”

“My instincts are making me see the truth. It’s like seeing another dimension of the world in front of my eyes and every person it’s wearing his truth print.”

“My body is an obstacle in the path of knowledge.”

“The silence of the night it’s letting reason to search very deep…”

There would be more but I prefer to leave them on some other time. I will post in the future my favorite poem called “Indrumari” (Guidance) that has many advices. And I saved the best for last:

“Get up and move on…
Broken wings can be fixed with glue.
Broken hearts can be stitched back into one piece.”


***


Ma uitam in seara asta peste cateva din scrierile mele si am gasit ceva ce imi place foarte mult:

„Timpul vindeca ranile, dar cicatricile raman si uneori, cand mai trecem prin perioade cu “vreme rea”, ele ne dor. Are si timpul limitele lui.”

Sunt o multime de poezii scrise de mine, chiar si proza, care ma fac sa ma simt intr-un fel anume atunci cand le citesc si nu pentru ca sunt ale mele, nici pentru ca ar fi ele foarte reusite ci pentru ca imi amintesc de mine in perioada aceea. E ca si cum as putea sa ma vad pe mine atunci cand am trait sentimentele acelea care m-au facut pana la urma sa astern totul pe hartie. Ma simt oarecum straina de unele din ele, probabil pentru ca m-am schimbat, dar in altele ma regasesc. Nu ma consider o poeta sau o scriitoare. Cand scriu o fac numai pentru ca asa simt, ca sa ma eliberez de prea multe ganduri. Si uneori ma uimesc pe mine insami deoarece imi ofer prin scrierile mele raspunsuri, incurajari, sfaturi.
Dar mai bine las randurile sa vorbeasca pentru mine:

"Nimic nu e usor in viata asta. E nevoie de mult efort, de o lunga asteptare, de durere, de suferinta. E nevoie sa dam totul, tot ce avem si ce suntem pentru o cauza, pentru ceea ce ne dorim cel mai mult, pentru un vis fara de care nu am putea sa mergem inainte."

"Sunt o luptatoare, nu ma tem de nimic..."

"Eu am ales. Am sa raman inocenta. O sa fiu un copil ascuns intr-o masca. Si veti fi inselati, deoarece eu o sa vad COPILUL, iar voi veti vedea MASCA."

"Instinctul ma face sa vad adevarul. E ca si cum as vedea o alta dimensiune a lumii pe care o am in fata si fiecare persoana poarta amprenta adevarului sau."

"Trupul meu este o piedica in calea cunoasterii."

"Tacerea noptii lasa ratiunea sa caute foarte adanc..."

Si ar mai fi si altele, dar prefer sa le las pe alta data. Intr-un post viitor voi pune poezia mea preferata „Indrumari”, care contine si mai multe sfaturi. Iar pentru sfarsit am pastrat altceva ce imi place foarte mult:

"Ridica-te si mergi mai departe...
Aripile frante pot fi fixate la loc cu lipici.
Inimile frante pot fi cusute inapoi intr-o bucata."

Words of wisdom

I just saw this movie that moved me, about how we should all live in peace, no matter religion or other differences. And at one moment some elders were telling this story:

He: What is Paradise?
Angels: Paradise is for the heart where love is fulfilled.
He: What is hell?
Angels: Hell is the place where there is no love.

Paradise is when I look into a child’s eyes, when I think of my children or nephews to be. Paradise is in those arms that keep me safe, protected, unharmed. Paradise is when I have no reason to cry or to be sad, when I know I am loved, when my family is happy, when good things happen, when I feel like smiling and joy bursts out of my being and contaminates everyone around me. Paradise is when I feel like I have a purpose in this world, when I am needed. Paradise is when my faith keeps me strong and I feel blessed.
Paradise may be everywhere around us: on every street, in every building, in every heart. Paradise is all over the world. We just have to keep on searching for it.

I need a miracle

AFTERLIFE - MIRACLE

There was a time when I was happy, when miracles were happening every day, when I had dreams and hopes that were unbreakable. There was a time when I believed in people and, mostly, I believed in myself. I saw no barriers then. I believed in the truth, in honesty, in good intentions. But one by one my beliefs were shook up and demolished and I realized that I had expectations, too many and too big rising too high and others did not wanted to rise up to them. I was wrong and you all showed me how wrong I was. And I have no false hopes now, I’m not expecting things, I’m just waiting, living, breathing with all my faith and love. I have things to give back to the world, but the world seems unprepared to receive them.
I need a sunrise, to feel the warm sun rays on my face, to breathe again that fresh air, to believe that everything will be alright and I’m not going to be alone. I need to recharge my batteries and restart my life.
I need a sunrise, I need a miracle, I need … .

(Take this moment, make it still
Stay forever, by my side
Make a promise, to your soul
Leave me never, that I know
It can be
But I know, it can be
Lost our way, you and me
I'm still in love with you
And you said to me
I will set you free
But I silently remain
I need a miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
(Your love has left away)
(You wash away my pain)
I remember, days gone by
Warm and tender, makes me cry
I know it can be
But I know, it can be
Lost our way, you and me
I'm still in love with you
And you said to me
I will set you free
But I silently remain
I need a miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We need a miracle this time
Miracle this time
We'll need a miracle this time)

Update

I've voted ... for the third place candidate: Antonescu.
I'm pissed off. Romanians are really stupid. They voted for the same parties that ruled this country since 1990 (the revolution) until now. And nothing good happend. In this 20 years nothing is better: no economy, no industry, no agriculture, no turism, no education, no health system, nothing new built, no infrastructure, a growing inflation rate, a growing unemployment rate, a non stable exchange rate with our curency going way down, lack of investors and others.
I've decided is time to pack up my things and leave the country before it sinks to the bottom.

U can all "live well!" like Basescu said.

But who should get "my stamp" on December 6: Basescu or Geoana?

Going to vote...

I'm going to vote the president. I'm waiting for the results next week. The future of Romania starts today.

I'm on vacation next week. I can't wait to stay home and do nothing. My sis wants us to go to Marasesti. That would be nice. I love traveling and seeing new places.

How much time do I have to wait until it will snow?

2012 - The movie

Americans are still obsessed with the idea of the world ending. Seems this is the best subject that leaves enough place for the producers, screen players, directors and actors to do what they do best: imagine and act. Who knows when the world will end and how? Only God. But we are interested in the apocalypse and this kind of movies draws us to the cinema. So big bucks come out from this popular theme.
Anyway, the movie is great. The special effects make it look fantastic, the sounds are terrifying - they enhance our feelings and emotions: it has a little bit of romance and it brings out some very exploited subjects: humanity, the fight to survive no matter the cost, sense of duty, keeping faith and praying in the last moment, the supreme sacrifice.
Want to see it? Go to the cinema. You will enjoy it, I can assure you.



So…
If you would know these are the last 24 hours of your life, how would you spend them?
Who would be on your mind in the last moment?
If you would have to sacrifice your life for someone else to live, for whom would you sacrifice it?
What would you do to make sure you will survive?

Memories of you

I found this song that reminds me of you and of the way you make me feel.



No hizo falta nada más
Fue tan suficiente verlo en tu mirada
Clara como cristal

Me enseńsate a ver la luz
Cuando dentro de mi alma se apagaban
Mis ganas de continuar
Como si me conocieras de otra vida
Vas antecediendo todos mis instintos
Sin medida

Nadie más que tú
Sabe adivinar a donde voy
Nadie pudo descubrir
Lo que yo realmente soy
Nadie más que tú
Ha sembrado paz en mi interior
Hizo renacer mi fe
Para ver más allá del sol

Cuando amanece y tu no estás
Toda mi energía fluye diferente
Sin ti nada es igual
Mis secretos se revelan en tus brazos
Y mis días se reducen a tu espacio
Y voy cayendo poco a poco porque

Nadie más que tu
Sabe adivinar a donde voy
Nadie pudo descubrir
Lo que yo realmente soy
Nadie más que tu
Que ha sembrado paz en mi interior
Hizo renacer mi fe
Para ver más allá del sol

Como si me conocieras de otra vida...
Vas antecediendo todos mis instintos...

Nadie mas que tu nadie más que tú..
Lo que realmente soy
Nadie más, nadie más
Nadie más que tu
Hizo renacer mi fe
Para ver mas allá del sol
Más alla del sol

Es que nadie, nadie, nadie no...
Nadie más que tú
Nadie más pudo hacer
Hizo renacer mi fe
Para ver más alla del sol

Life sucks.. or not?/ Viata e de rahat... sau nu?

Yes, I’m in a crisis. It’s quite normal to be in one because of the many frustrations gathered in the last months, maybe a year. And who would not be frustrated in my shoes, when there are so many dreams and hopes and wishes that are not becoming reality. With what should I begin? …
Well… at 26 I am still living with my parents and I can’t see a way to change that in the close future. At this age other women are married and have kids, their own house… I don’t. (Remark: I’m saying women although I feel like saying girls, because I can’t see myself as a woman. I feel and I look at myself as if I were 18. Somehow, I feel I can blame for this the fact that until this age I haven’t been involved in a long term relationship where “he” can make me feel as a woman. But this is another thing…) Living with my parents gives me a sense of humiliation, my pride losing the battle in front of the compromise of not doing what I want when I want it and in front of the need to conform myself to some rules that I don’t believe in. Many times privacy doesn’t exist or it’s “something that all four of us know, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to find out”. Well, I admit that I enjoy also the financial and psychological benefits: mom cooks and cleans, I only help; dad brings the money and he is not asking me to participate in the expenses, but I do it with pleasure; the comfort of my home and the joy of living with my family, the stuff that is dear to me. But sometimes these things do not compensate the feeling of inutility or of a wasted life. I have the tendency to compare all the time my achievements with those of other people and from here all the frustrations begin: I don’t have, I don’t own, I don’t… they do.
Then comes the work part, but who is totally satisfied of his job? I’ve been working here for 4 years and I don’t see any promotion or raise chance any time soon. I tried to change jobs, but when I found something I liked the payment was disappointing. Nobody is paying the true work value anymore. Even jobs with great responsibilities that require a college degree are being paid just a little over the minimum wage. What can I do then? I’m waiting, on a 700 leis payment with food tickets, I pay the bills first, then expenses and I hold on to what I have left until my next salary. If I restrain myself from spending money and I don’t delight myself but I stop at what’s absolutely necessary, I can manage to save up some cash. If not… that’s life.
In the heart’s matters I don’t know what to say. I’m not doing well, neither bad. But that’s how things are when you are in love with someone you met on the internet and you have never seen him. I usually have a hard time “managing” any relationship, even more now when things are so complicated. It’s very hard to have this kind of a relationship and to keep it balanced, because there is a great passion, everything is intense, positive tensions and energies are being born and when they can’t be displayed and consumed inside the couple, they become negative and transform themselves into fights and arguments without a real base. Yes, to me it seems easier to fight then to say “I love you, you are everything to me and I cry because I miss you so much, I pray for you every night”. I feel vulnerable when I let my true feelings and thoughts to be seen, so I prefer not saying but keeping them only for myself and, in this way, I can keep myself protected. Even if I know I can believe in him and he is never going to hurt me I still can’t open myself totally, I still try to protect myself. Many times I leave fear aside and I say what I feel and think in that moment and I feel liberated, happy, but I don’t forget that I’m just a butterfly in the wind, wind that can become anytime a tornado.
Someone asked me some day: why a guy from a country so far away? Couldn’t you find one here? I answered: I think I’ve wished him for me and God gave him to me. A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I imagined a story where I borrowed my character, personality and name to the girl in the leading role, Andreea, and I invented for her in the leading role a man that would have all the qualities and flows that I wanted my soul mate to have and I named him Rayel. And I prayed to God that this someone would exist and bring him into my life. And he made my wish come true. The resemblance is striking and it makes me ask sometimes if HE really exists or HE is only in my imagination, if this romance is not only in my head. And the more time passes, the more I realize that HE is more beautiful then I could ever imagine. And HE exists, lives and has flesh and bones like me, breaths and speaks and has this lovely voice and an extraordinary accent and HE makes me feel good about myself, HE loves me, wants me and misses me. And many times I feel him: his touch in my palms, in my blood, in my arms; his breath and his body odor, his heart beating along with mine. I know I love him, he knows I love him and I am lucky to be able to live such a story and I’m waiting impatiently the day when we will meet face to face.
So… Yes, life has its ugly, bad parts, but it also has its good moments. And most of the time when I count, the good is more important than the bad. So “heads up and with God forward”. Any sorrow passes and good days always come. My happy moment will come, when I will draw the line and look at the score: frustrations 0 – accomplishments infinity.


***

Da, m-a apucat criza. Era si normal sa ma apuce deoarece am foarte multe frustrari stranse in cateva luni, un an si ceva chiar. Si cine nu ar fi frustrat in locul meu cand ai atat de multe vise si sperante si dorinte si vezi ca nici una nu devine realitate. Cu ce sa incep? ...
Pai... la 26 de ani inca mai locuiesc cu parintii si nu vad nici o sansa in viitorul apropiat ca acest lucru sa se schimbe. La varsta aceasta alte femei sunt maritate, au si copii, casa lor... eu nu. (Observatie: spun femei desi tendinta este sa spun fete, asta pentru ca eu inca nu reusesc sa ma percep ca si femeie. Eu inca ma simt si ma privesc ca si cum as avea 18 ani. Pe undeva consider ca vina acestui lucru o poarta si faptul ca pana la varsta aceasta eu nu am avut o relatie de lunga durata in care „el” sa ma faca sa simt ca sunt femeie. Dar acesta e un alt subiect...) Faptul ca inca locuiesc cu ai mei imi da o senzatie de umilinta, mandria mea fiind de multe ori stirbita in fata compromisului de a nu face ce am chef atunci cand am chef si de a ma conforma unor reguli in care nu cred. De multe ori intimitatea nu exista sau insemana „ceva ce noi patru stim, dar restul lumii nu trebuie sa afle”. Bine, recunosc ca ma bucur si de avantajele financiare si psihologice: mama gateste si face curat, eu numai ajut; tata aduce banii si nu-mi cere sa particip la cheltuieli, dar o fac eu de placere; confortul locuintei si bucuria de a convietui cu familia, obiectele dragi. Dar uneori lucrurile astea nu compenseaza sentimentul inutilitatii si al vietii risipite. Am tendinta de a-mi compara in permanenta realizarile cu ale celorlalti si de aici se nasc frustrarile: eu nu am, nu posed, eu nu... ei da.
Apoi vine partea cu munca, dar cine e total multumit de jobul sau? Lucrez pe postul acesta de 4 ani si nu intrevad nici o sansa la promovare sau marire de salariu. Am incercat sa-mi schimb locul de munca, dar unde am gasit ceva salarizarea a fost cea care nu m-a multumit. Nimeni nu mai plateste la adevarata valoare. Chiar si joburile cu responsabilitate mare, care necesita studii superioare sunt platite cu putin peste salariul minim pe economie. Ce sa fac atunci? Mai stau asa, pe 700 de lei plus bonuri de masa, platesc facturile intai, apoi cheltuielile curente si trag de ce-mi mai ramane pana la salariul urmator. Daca ma restrang la cheltuieli, nu ma desfat cu cine stie ce si ma rezum la ce e absolut necesar, reusesc sa mai pun si un ban deoparte. Daca nu... asta e.
Pe plan sentimental n-as sti sa spun cum stau, nici bine, dar nici rau. Asa e cand esti indragostita de o persoana pe care ai cunoscut-o pe net si cu care nu te-ai vazut niciodata. Eu de obicei nu stiu cum sa „manageriez” o relatie, mai ales acum cand lucrurile sunt atat de complicate. Este foarte greu sa ai o relatie de genul acesta echilibrata, deoarece pasiunea e mare, totul se traieste cu intensitate, se nasc energii si tensiuni pozitive, care atunci cand nu pot fi manifestate si consumate in interiorul cuplului devin negative, se transforma in certuri si discutii aprinse fara un fond real. Da, mie imi e mai usor sa ma cert decat sa spun „te iubesc, esti totul pentru mine, plang de dorul tau, ma rog pentru tine in fiecare seara”. Ma simt vulnerabila atunci cand las sa se vada adevaratele mele sentimente si ganduri si de aceea prefer sa nu le spun, le tin acolo doar pentru mine si reusesc in modul acesta sa ma simt mai protejata. Si chiar daca stiu ca pot sa cred in el si ca nu ma va rani niciodata tot nu reusesc sa ma deschid total, tot incerc sa ma protejez. De multe ori las teama la o parte si spun ceea ce simt si gandesc in acel moment si ma simt eliberata, fericita, dar nu uit ca eu sunt doar un fluture in bataia vantului, vant care se poate transforma oricand in tornada.
M-a intrebat cineva intr-o zi: dar de ce un baiat dintr-o tara atat de departe? Nu puteai sa gasesti si tu unul de la noi? Eu am raspuns: cred ca eu mi l-am dorit, iar Dumnezeu mi l-a dat. Demult, pe cand eu eram adolescenta, mi-am imaginat o poveste in care am imprumutat caracterul, personalitatea si numele meu personajului feminin principal, Andreea, si pentru care am inventat un personaj masculin principal care sa aiba toate calitatile si defectele pe care mi le-am dorit eu la jumatatea mea si i-am pus numele Rayel. Si m-am rugat la Dumnezeu ca acest cineva sa existe si sa il aduca in viata mea. Si el mi-a indeplinit dorinta. Asemanarile sunt izbitoare si ma fac sa ma intreb uneori daca EL exista cu adevarat sau e numai in imaginatia mea, daca nu cumva idila aceasta este doar in capul meu. Si cu cat trece mai mult timp, cu atat realizez ca EL este mult mai frumos decat mi-am putut imagina eu. Si exista, traieste si e din carne si oase ca si mine, respira si vorbeste si are o voce frumoasa si un accent superb si ma face sa ma simt bine in pielea mea, ma iubeste, ma doreste si ii e dor de mine. Iar eu de multe ori il simt: in palmele mele atingerea sa, in sangele meu, in bratele mele; respiratia si parfumul trupului sau, inima lui batand o data cu a mea. Stiu ca il iubesc, si el stie ca il iubesc si sunt norocoasa ca pot traii o asemenea poveste si astept cu nerabdare ziua in care ne vom intalni fata in fata.
Asa ca... Da, viata are partile ei proaste, urate, dar are si momentele ei bune. Si de cele mai multe ori, cand le pun in balanta, cele bune sunt mai importante decat cele rele. Asa ca „capul sus si cu Dumnezeu inainte”. Orice suparare trece si totdeauna vin si zile mai bune. Pana la urma va sosi si momentul meu de fericire, cand o sa trag linie si o sa-mi calculez scorul: frustrari 0 - realizari infinit.

I miss you like crazy

For the one I love, that I miss every day, every minute, every second.



Even though its been so long,
My love for you keeps going strong.
I remember the things that we used to do,
A kiss in the rain til' the sun shined through,
I'd try to deny it, but I'm still in love with you.

I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy.
Ever since you went away
Every hour of every day.
I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy.
No matter what I say or do,
There's just no getting over you.

I can see the love shining in your eyes
And it comes as such a sweet surprise.
If seeing's believing its worth the wait,
So hold me and tell me its not too late.
We're so good together, we're starting forever now.

And I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy.
Ever since you went away,
Every hour of every day.
I miss you like crazy,
I miss you baby.
A love like ours will never end,
Just touch me and we're there again.

Just one night
And we'll have that magic feeling like we used to do.
Hold on tight
and whatever comes our way we're gonna make it through.
If seeing's believing it's worth the wait,
so hold me and tell me it's not too late
We're so good together, we're starting forever now

And I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy.
No matter what I say or do
there's just no getting over you.
And I miss you (baby), I miss you (baby).
All the tender love you gave me
When a feeling gets this strong,
You know the real thing come along.

And I miss you,
I miss you like crazy baby.
Only your sweet love can save me.
I miss you like crazy, a love like ours will never end,
Just touch me and we're there again.
Miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy...

I'm sad. I need therapy.

Bad moments, bad days, bad months (or years) keep coming. It seems like I'm not getting back on track to soon. I'm so moody these days, it might be the weather. I never liked cold seasons. Or it just might be bad people. I hate not getting what I want.
Or it might be just a bad period. I'm sure the stars are to blame.

Anyways, I need to do something, I need therapy, I need things that can make me happy.
The first one I choose is music therapy. Music calms my nerves. Music keeps me smiling. I remember this song that made me laugh:
Natasha Bedingfield - I wanna have your babies

or this one that gets me into THE MOOD: John Meyer - Your body is a wonderland.

There are more that make me dance:
Amr Diab - Habibi ya nour el ain ,
Sergio Mendes - Magdalenha

And there is a very long list of songs that are sad and make me cry. Crying is good, releases all the tensions and after I feel better, at least for a couple of days. My favourites:
Leona Lewis -Run
Usher - Moving mountains
Alicia Keys - Like you'll never see me again
Shania Twain - From this moment
Katy Perry - Thinking of you
Marius Mihalache - Bordeias
Stereophonics - Maybe tomorrow
Natasha Bedingfield - I bruise easily
Jennifer Lopez - Tu; Sola; Por ariesgarnos; Apresurate; Porche te marchas
Ricky Martin - Perdido sin ti; Te extrano, te olvido, te amo; You stay with me
Eros Ramazzotti - Musica e; Un altra te

Another therapy i like is aromatherapy. My favourite aroma is vanilla. I use it now in my room. But I also like strawberry, lemon, cinamon and jasmine.

And there is also colour therapy that i use on my clothes. Light colours make me happy, blue calms my nerves, intense red makes me feel high on energy and passionate, green is my colour of peace and white is how I dreamed and see heaven. I also love curves especially when the white-black combinations are used.

The last therapy I use is breathing therapy. If I am sad I just stand somewhere I like and meditate and breathe heavily in and out until I feel my lungs saturated with oxigen. This is close to the tehnique used when our heart beats really fast and we feel like we don't have enough air to breath.

Run / Fugi

Leona Lewis - Run


Sometimes it's hard to say sorry. Sometimes it's hard to find the right words to express what you feel. Sometimes all it takes is to let time flow.

I feel weird right now, like i'm watching my life go on without me. All is happening to fast and I don't have enough time to react, to control it. I'm tired.

It's almost 4 in the morning and, instead of sleeping, I would step outside for a run and I wouldn't stop until I would feel like my heart is exploding in my chest and there is not enough air to breath. I feel lost, from myself, from you, from what I used to know and I liked, from what I used to feel. I'm alone, I feel alone, although there was a time when I wasn't feeling like this. I got lost along the way and I'm afraid I lost you also.

To many things are on my mind now and I can't feel at peace with no one, not even with myself. And I'm lost and afraid, and alone, and I got so tired and all i need now is to run, run for my life, run and cry.

***

Uneori e greu sa spui "imi pare rau". Uneori e greu sa gasesti cuvintele potrivite care sa exprime ceea ce simti. Uneori e nevoie doar sa lasi timpul sa treaca.

Ma simt ciudat acum, de parca as fi spectatoare la viata mea. Totul se intampla prea repede iar eu nu am timp sa reactionez, sa controlez ceva. Am obosit.

E aproape 4 dimineata iar eu, in loc sa dorm, as iesi afara sa alerg si nu m-as mai opri pana nu as simti ca-mi explodeaza inima in piept si ca nu mai am aer sa respir. Ma simt pierduta, de mine, de tine, de ceea ce stiam si imi placea, de ceea ce simteam candva. Sunt singura, ma simt singura, desi a fost o vreme cand nu ma simteam astfel. M-am pierdut undeva pe drum si ma tem ca te-am pierdut si pe tine.

Ma gandesc la prea multe lucruri acum si nu ma simt impacata cu nimeni, nici macar cu mine insami. Si sunt pierduta si mi-e teama, sunt singura si sunt atat de obosita si tot ceea ce imi trebuie acum este sa fug, sa fug pentru viata mea, sa fug si sa plang.

John Legend - Save Room

Say that you'll stay a little
dont say bye-bye tonight
say you'll be mine
just a little bit of love
is worth a moment of your time.

Knockin' on your door just a little
it's so cold outside tonight
let's get a fire burning oh I know I
'll keep it burning bright
if your stay, wont you save, save

[Chorus]Save room for my love
Save room for a moment to be with me
Save room for my love
Save a little, save a little for me
Won't you save a little
Save a little for me

This just might hurt a little
love hurts sometimes when you do it right
dont be afraid of a little bit of pain
pleasure is on the other side.
Let down your guard just a little
i'll keep you safe in these arms of mine
hold on to me pretty baby
you will see I can be all you need if you stay
won't you save, save

[Chorus] Oh c'mon, make time to live a little
don't let this moment slip by tonight
you'll never know what you're missing
'till you try, i'll keep you satisfied if you stay
won't you save, save [Chorus]



This song says it all, no need for me to say anything else.