Frumoasa si Bestia / Beauty and the Beast

Toata lumea il stie pe Walt Disney, nu? Si toti cunoastem povestea asta cu Belle si Bestia.
Ea - frumoasa, visatoare, culta, gingasa, echilibrata, saraca. El - urat, rece, puternic, temperamental, arogant, bogat. Doua lumi total diferite, dar care se atrag. Oare noi nu suntem la fel? Noi, in relatiile noastre nu ne purtam la fel ca ei, Belle si Bestia?
In oricare relatie unul din parteneri este mai puternic decat celalalt, mai fragil, mai supus sau mai calm. Ne asumam un rol de la inceput sau n-il descoperim pe parcurs, cand incepem sa ne cunoastem cu adevarat, atat intre noi cat si pe noi insine. Cine spune ca stie totul despre el insusi nu stie de fapt nimic, cine spune ca el nu se va schimba niciodata este cel mai mare mincinos. O relatie te schimba, in bine sau in rau, te transforma, te provoaca, te domina. E alegerea ta cine vei fi dupa o zi, dupa o luna, dupa un an... mai puternic sau mai slab, sclav sau stapan sau undeva la mijloc, pastrand echilibrul.
Asa ca intreaba-te cine ai fost, cine esti si cine vei deveni. Iti place persoana aceea din viitorul tau? Atunci mergi mai departe in relatia asta. Daca nu iti place atunci schimba-te, spunei celuilalt adio si cauta ceva mai bun pentru tine. Stiu oameni care au avut curaj sa faca pasul asta si acum sunt in sfarsit fericiti. Intotdeauna se poate si mai bine.
Dar atunci cand iubesti prea mult si crezi in dragostea voastra e greu sa renunti la ce ai, chiar daca uneori nu ai nimic decat manunchiul asta de sentimente: iubire amestecata cu ura, speranta cu neincredere, implinire cu suferinta. Si acesta este genul de relatie in care cei doi au foarte clar definite rolurile: unul va fi Frumoasa in timp ce celalalt va fi Bestia. Unul isi va dori sa fie iubit iar celalalt isi va dori sa daruiasca iubire, unul va domina iar celalalt se va lasa ingenuncheat, unul va fi crud iar celalalt milostiv. Dar la final exista echilibru: amandoi castiga pentru ca relatia asta ii transforma. Cel puternic invata sa se lase stapanit, cucerit, in timp ce acela fragil invata gustul puterii si intelege ca oamenii, prin natura lor, pot fi atat buni, cat si rai, iar acea malitiozitate, de cele mai multe ori nu e decat o masca care ascunde un suflet sensibil, foarte usor de ranit.

Dar poate ca Frumoasa intelesese rolul ei din prima clipa cand a privit Bestia in ochi.

***

Everybody knows Walt Disney, isn’t so? And we all know this story about Belle and the Beast.
She – beautiful, dreamy, literate, delicate, balanced, poor. He – ugly, cold, strong, short tempered, prideful, rich. Two totally different worlds, but who are attracted to each other. Aren’t we the same? In our relationships don’t we act just like them, like Belle and the Beast?
One of the partners is always stronger, more fragile, and more submissive or more calm then the other, in every relation. We are assuming a role-play from the beginning or we are discovering it on the way, when we begin to really know each other or thyself. Who says that he knows everything there is about him actually doesn’t know a thing, who says he will never change is the greatest liar. A relationship changes who you are for the better or for the worst, it transforms you, provokes you, and dominates you. It’s your choice who you’re going to be after one day, one month or one year… stronger or weaker, slave or master or somewhere in between, keeping the balance.
So ask yourself who were you, who are you and who you will became. Do you like that person from your future? Then go on in this relationship. If you don’t like it then change yourself, say goodbye to the other one and search better for you. I know people who had enough courage to make this step and now they are finally happy. You can always do better.
But when you love too much and you believe in your love it’s hard to give up on what you have, even if sometimes all you have is a bunch of these feelings: love mixed with hate, hope with disbelief, accomplished with hurt. And this is that kind of relation where both are playing these roles: one will be Beauty while the other one will be Beast. One will wish to be loved while the other will want to give love, one will dominate and the other one will let himself knelt, one will be cruel and the other one merciful. But in the end there is balance: they both win because this relationship transforms them. The strong one learns to let himself mastered, conquered, while the fragile one learns the taste of power and understands that people, by their nature, can be good and bad, and this malice, most of the times is only a mask that hides a very sensible, easy to hurt soul.

But maybe Beauty understood her role from the first moment she looked into the Beasts eyes.

Voi fi intotdeauna cu tine / I will always be with you

Am citit urmatoarele randuri pe blogul lui Cabral (cabral.ro) si ma tot gandesc la ele de atunci. Vai, cata dreptate poate avea! Oare de ce ma regasesc in ele?

***

Prima clipa, prima discutie in care ii simti respiratia alunecandu-ti pe piept, prima privire in suflet, primele vorbe… primele minciuni.
Suna dur “minciuni“, stiu, dar… hai sa incercam sa privim cu sinceritate. Ce stii, in acel moment despre ea? Cat de bine-l cunosti? Cat de bine te cunosti tu in relatia aia, foarte proaspata, cat de bine va cunoasteti chimia, pe ce-ti bazezi promisiunea aia?
- Te iubesc, voi fi intotdeauna cu tine!
- Esti sigur?
- Mai sigur decat orice pe lumea asta!
Da, sigur! Ce stii in acel moment? C-o iubesti, ca te face sa te simti asa cum nu te-ai mai simtit, parca, niciodata! Te face sa simti ca il adori, astepti cu nerabdare fluturasii din stomac, caci ti-i da, mai ales atunci cand te saruta si te priveste cu privirea aia, aia speciala, care te face sa te simti cea mai frumoasa creatie a lumii… Asta stii, pe asta te poti baza. Dar, acest mic nimic iti conteaza in respectivul moment infim al vietii tale mai mult decat ce va sa fie si de doua ori decat tot ce-a fost…
- Ce-ti doresti de la viata asta?
- Pe tine, numai pe tine, acum, maine, pentru totdeauna… tu!
Asa ne incepem relatiile, mai mult sau mai putin cu minciuna asta, sau una vecina ei, promitem lucruri mari, ne promitem noua ca vom fi mai buni, altfel, ca nu vom repeta greselile trecutului… ca vom iubi atat de frumos incat povestea asta nu se va termina vreodata.
Dar uitam, caci suntem oameni, ca am promis fix acelasi lucru intr-o anumita relatie ce a trecut. La fel am zis, “Intotdeauna cu tine…!“, dar n-a fost asa, ne-am despartit, am uitat – sau nu – am mers mai departe si… acum iubim din nou.
Cand am mintit, atunci sau acum? Ne-am proiectat si atunci umbrele de indragostiti pe peretele de fum al unui viitor care astazi e realitate, si pe peretele ala ne vedeam atunci “Intotdeauna impreuna.”. Numai ca umbrele indragostitilor s-au schimbat, una dintre siluete a disparut, acum e alta, si in acelasi fel de imbratisare ne proiectam din nou intr-un promis “Intotdeauna cu tine!“.
Am mintit atunci? Mintim acum din nou? Am mintit de fiecare data?
Caci, cum facem, vom alege sa fim in continuare, in continuarea acelei minciuni, alaturi de fostul? Riscam asa sa ne erodam prezentul sau lasam minciuna aia deoparte si ii zambim ingaduitori asteia noi?
De ce nu spunem “Azi impreuna!” si facem in asa fel incat sa ne tinem de cuvant cat mai frumos posibil?

**********

I’ve read the next lines on Cabral’s blog (cabral.ro) and I’m thinking and thinking about them since then. Wow, he is so right! Why do I find myself in them?

***

First moment, first conversation when you feel your breath on your chest, first look into the soul, first words... first lies.
Sounds harsh „lies”, I know, but ... let’s try to look at this with honesty. What do you know about her in that moment? How well do you know him? How well do you know yourself in that relationship, so fresh, how well do you know the chemistry of you two, what reason you have to make that promise?
- I love you; I will always be with you!
- Are you sure?
- Surer then anything else!
Yeah, sure! What do you know in that moment? That you love her, that she makes you feel like you, maybe, never felt before! He makes you feel like you adore him, you’re waiting impatiently for the stomach butterflies, because you get those from him, mostly when he kisses you and he looks at you with that look, that special one, which makes you feel the most beautiful creation in the world. This is what you know, you can count on this. But, this tiny nothing counts in this little moment of your life more then what will be and twice more then what was…
- What do you want from this life?
- You, only you, now, tomorrow, always… you!
This is how we start our relations, more or less with this lie, or with one close to it, we promise big things, we promise to ourselves that we are going to be better, different, that we are not going to repeat the mistakes from the past… that we will love so beautiful that the story will never end.
Because we are human we forget that we promised the same thing in a previous relation. We said the same thing “always with you…!”, but it wasn’t like that, we broke up, we forgot – or we didn’t – we moved forward and… now we love again.
When did we lie, then or now? Then we projected our lovers’ shadows on the smoke wall of a future that today became reality, and on that wall we used to see us “always together”. Only that the lovers shadows have changed, one of the silhouettes disappeared, now there is a new one, and in the same embrace we project ourselves again in a new promised “always with you”.

Did we lie then? Are we lying now, again? Did we lie every time?
But what are we going to do; we are going to stay in that lie, by the ex’s side? Do we risk eroding away the present or we are going to leave that lie aside and kindly smile to this new one?
Why aren’t we saying “today together” and trying to keep our word the best way possible?

Ce imi place mie... / What I like...

Florin Chilian - Zece (Ten)




Refren : Zece intamplari ciudate si-o minune (Ten strange happenings and a miracle)
Te-au adus in casa, zece (Have brought you home, ten)
Zece pictori se tot mira (Ten painters are all surprised)
Cat esti de frumoasa (How beautiful you are)
Zece zile trec absurd de nu stiu (Ten days pass absurd, I don’t know)
Nu stiu cum, nu stiu pe unde, nu stiu (I don't know how, I don't know where, don't know)
Zece vieti de-as sta cu tine (Ten lives if I'd stay with you)
Tot ar fi putine (It would not be enough)

Doua stele, paralele, (Two stars, parallels)
Stele, lacrimi innodate si (Stars, tied tears and)
Lumina de la ele (Their light)
Pentru tine toate (All for you)

Patru printi cu trei castele (Four princes with three castles)
Ape, lanturi fermecate si (Waters, charmed chains and)
Tot cerul peste ele (All the sky over them)
Pentru tine toate (All for you)

Refren x1

Sapte zane, toate bune (Seven fairies, all good)
Licurici, sperante-n noapte si (Fireflies, hopes in the night and)
Piticii din poveste (The story’s gnomes)
Pentru tine toate (All for you)

Noua magi in faptul serii (Nine magus in the evening)
O potcoava sus departe, si (A horse shoe up far away, and)
Comorile din suflet (The treasures of the heart)
Pentru tine toate (All for you)

Refren x1